Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Comment of the Day 05/19/09


In response to the article "Why I Cheated", Lizabella ponders the implications of cheating to fill the gap in her otherwise perfect life:

u can never understand this sort of thing unless u've felt it ... being in love and content in ur relationship ... but ur s.o. doesn't need sex nearly as much as u do. it sux. it leaves this gaping space in ur torso ... wanting to feel wanted, desired, lusted after ... wanting to be slammed up against a wall and groped ... some people need that ... and others can't really get themselves to do it ... they just aren't interested ... its not in them ... so what happens when ur married with a child and suddenly come to grips with the fact that ur life is pretty amazing, except one thing -- ur sexually mismatched. u dont want to leave ... not even a little bit ... u just need passion and desire and sexual gratification ... like if u dont get it u will go insane. and no matter how many times u have the conversation w/ur spouse nothing changes. do u leave? or make it work on ur own terms? i cant leave.

Lizabella, you're not alone. I think at some point every married person ponders this same question. I think its worth staying and working out. The effects of cheating are devastating. Try talking to your husband instead, get some books, get adventurous and have some fun. That's my take. Anyone else care to weigh in?


Expert advice

If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
Several key behaviors stand out in order to help couples create a healthy relationship.
It seems like you can't do anything right.

Explore YourTango