Technology: The New Compatibility Test


couple's wires crossed
Why your tech preference matters and what it says about you.

Compatibility was already complicated enough. She's an only-child; he's from a family of 12. He's a meticulous planner; she's fly-by-her-seat spontaneous. But technology is fast adding an entirely new layer of compatibility for would-be couples. And it can suss out the potential for a relationship in a matter of dates, reports Monica Hesse for The Washington Post.

Indeed, mismatched technology preferences can end a romance before it begins. The hardest hit generation? Thirtysomethings, Kelli Lawless, who helms Dating and Mating in America, told the Post.


Apparently, the forty-ish are most likely to be in sync technologically (with their preference for phone communication). Twentysomethings are most likely to experiment with tech gadgets until they figure out what love lines work best. But men and women in their thirties tend to take "independent, a-la-carte approaches to their technology," according to Lawless.

A few of the most common tech mismatches:

1. To Text or To Call? After a first date, she's waiting for that first follow-up call. Instead, she gets a text—the first techno letdown that can signify more to come. She wonders if this is the type of man who, instead of returning a call by dialing, texts back. Maybe he's dumped a girl by e-mail before, she imagines. Two months of dating go by. A total of four phone conversations take place. Phone calls become a big, scary thing. Like that, it's over.

2. What's Your Frequency? In the first month of dating, his daily texting gradually increases until he's sending five, six, up to seven short messages a day. "Hey, beautiful!", "It's raining out", "What do you feel like eating tonight?" She's feeling a bit smothered by the influx of sweet-nothing texts that have nada to do with specific plans. There's no exchange of address, no time-to-be-there included. She eventually gets vexed by the frequent interruption and stops responding. He feels unwanted. Thus, game over.Relationship Red Flags