Technology: The New Compatibility Test
Why your tech preference matters and what it says about you.
Compatibility was already complicated enough. She's an only-child; he's from a family of 12. He's a meticulous planner; she's fly-by-her-seat spontaneous. But technology is fast adding an entirely new layer of compatibility for would-be couples. And it can suss out the potential for a relationship in a matter of dates, reports Monica Hesse for The Washington Post.
Indeed, mismatched technology preferences can end a romance before it begins. The hardest hit generation? Thirtysomethings, Kelli Lawless, who helms Dating and Mating in America, told the Post.
Apparently, the forty-ish are most likely to be in sync technologically (with their preference for phone communication). Twentysomethings are most likely to experiment with tech gadgets until they figure out what love lines work best. But men and women in their thirties tend to take "independent, a-la-carte approaches to their technology," according to Lawless.
A few of the most common tech mismatches:
1. To Text or To Call? After a first date, she's waiting for that first follow-up call. Instead, she gets a text—the first techno letdown that can signify more to come. She wonders if this is the type of man who, instead of returning a call by dialing, texts back. Maybe he's dumped a girl by e-mail before, she imagines. Two months of dating go by. A total of four phone conversations take place. Phone calls become a big, scary thing. Like that, it's over.
2. What's Your Frequency? In the first month of dating, his daily texting gradually increases until he's sending five, six, up to seven short messages a day. "Hey, beautiful!", "It's raining out", "What do you feel like eating tonight?" She's feeling a bit smothered by the influx of sweet-nothing texts that have nada to do with specific plans. There's no exchange of address, no time-to-be-there included. She eventually gets vexed by the frequent interruption and stops responding. He feels unwanted. Thus, game over.Relationship Red Flags
Discussion
"Sole" searching demands honesty not second-guessing. That's why we have articles like these! Experience has taught me nothing beats communication. I mean the up-close and personal, friendly sort that allows you to state your case - with a smile, of course, IE, "Thanks for those textings but I what I like more is hearing your voice." Establishing boundaries when navigating the territorial waters of dating doesn't have to be about jumping the shark. Be flexible but firm when making requests. If you're at the reciprocal stage, the other person will appreciate it. I know I do! Being able to listen promotes mutual understanding and that helps build a partnership.
Many of these behavior problems can be fixed or avoided if there was more open communication rather than always texting or using FB to stay connected. I am just as guilty though.
WHAT WRONG WITH A PHONE CALL? FIRST OF ALL I DONT HAVE A CELL! SECOND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TO TEXT!
@paintedlove - Be happy your guy is taking the time to text you; if you don't like that, then find some else to date or stay single...
Some of us like to text better, as we can then multitask. Be assured, though, that (except in extreme circumstances) my phone stays in my pocket during a date, when my full attention is on the date and the woman.
Absolutely well said. My BF, well, ex now as of two days, used to change his relationship status on MySpace and Facebook to try to get my attention. What am I, in 7th grade? He always texted too instead of a phone call. You can never tell how something is supposed to be meant because of the absence of tone and body language. I hated it, but I knew he didn't like to talk on the phone, so I kind of just let it go. We were together for a year, up until two days ago, he texted me that he was done. Really nice. I will never allow anyone to be so non-communicative again. Passive-aggression hits it right on the nose.
I can appreciate a good laugh, but he did it out of spite... You know, like when he would say "I's over!", then you hear the click, click, click of the keyboard. Only to find that two days later it would be changed back. LOL Eh, mine is staying just the way it is... SINGLE.
I don't think there's a single thing I hate more than a guy who texts when he could call. What? Is calling "too hard"? Me, I think texting is comparatively difficult, even with my QWERTY phone. I can understand if you don't want to interrupt a class or a meeting, but otherwise, texting seems like the quintessential act of passive-aggression.
