How To Be A Good Wedding Guest Without Going Broke
Don't RSVP "no" just because your bank account is running low.
Yes, times are tough but let us not forget that love carries on. Case in point, that growing stack of wedding invitations you have thumb tacked to the calendar. If it seems as though everyone you know is suddenly getting married this summer, that may very well be the case. Wedding season is officially in full swing and just because you're counting every penny, don't discount the fact that you're still required to send a gift for every invitation that comes your way.
While Brides.com suggests that the average amount of money to spend on a wedding gift is $100, the rules of etiquette may be broken on account of a bad economy. If you don't have quite as much cash to give this year, you can still say "I do" when it comes to being a good wedding guest. Read: How To Be A Stress-Free Wedding Guest
Give your friends a gift that doesn't have an obvious monetary value. In other words, resist the urge to write them a check in the amount of $94.25 even if it shows that you're down to your last dollar. Instead, seek out registry items that pack a good punch. A miniature crystal vase doesn't carry as much weight as say, an oversized overnight bag. Luggage is a great gift for guests on a budget and if you can find it on sale, even better. Read: Wedding Gift Alternatives
Shower your friends with compliments and you can save even more money. For example, have a sentimental photo of the two of them blown up and slipped into a sterling silver frame. Your pals will be so smitten with the idea of themselves enlarged, they'll forget your gift is extra small.
Re-gifting can get tricky when it comes to weddings. Unless your friends are named Thomas and Anne-Marie too, you probably shouldn't re-gift that monogrammed set of hand towels collecting dust in the linen cabinet. On the other hand, if they're hard core environmentalists, they may be cool with a recycled Crock-Pot®.
Discussion
That seems to be bad advice about the photo frame, since even a smallish (5x7) sterling silver frame will cost well over $100 -- and if you're blowing up the picture to 8x10? A sterling frame of that size is a very expensive gift.
For people looking to save money, you'd have to go with silverplate, which still isn't cheap, but you can find some silverplate frames for under $75.
What is the etiquette for gift giving when you are broke but invited to the bridal showers and the weddings? Can you give the bride a shower gift but not a wedding gift? Can you just give a wedding gift? Or do you just suck it up and go deeper in debt? Any thoughts?
Hi Kan, Thanks for your question! It's an excellent one. Today's economy has us all counting every last penny so you are certainly not alone.
Believe it or not, gifts are always optional, even at weddings. We have become so accustomed to giving lavish wedding gifts that it seems odd or even in bad taste to attend a wedding and not give a gift. If your circumstances limit your ability to buy your pals two gifts, then simple take the bride or groom aside and explain that you are so excited to be celebrating their big day but you simple do not have the budget to buy them the kind of gifts you would like to buy right now.
If you plan on attending both the bridal shower and the wedding and can only afford to give a gift at one, I would suggest giving a gift at the bridal shower since bridal showers are usually very public and the bride may decide to open gifts in front of everyone. When the wedding day comes, you can give the happy couple a card and a big hug!
Do not go into debt! While that is a kind thought, that is exactly the reason why we are in this economic crisis....
