Poll: Do You Care If His Best Friend Is A Woman?
Your boyfriend or husband's best is female; what do you think about it?
Let us know more in the comments!
Discussion
Very short background, was in a relationship with a man( for clarity 'B') that lasted a year and a half before I walked away, 'B' lied and cheated (that is why I left).
'B' has contacted me again (after a seperation of 4 mo) telling me he wants me back, he made a mistake, and asking me to give him another chance. That he will do 'anything' to make our relationship work.
I am still mulling this over.. haven't decided what I am going to do....but WAIT it gets better...LOL
'B' has a female friend for 12 yrs (now platonic for last 4 yrs), she has a key to his house, she is over his house every morning (lives in PA, works in Md) she actually has a live in boyfriend.
she commutes 1hr & 30min driver herself and her boyfriend (who also works in md) to work every day. she goes to 'B''s house to catch another hour of sleep, then showers & goes to her job, beacuse her boyfriend works some much earlier than she.
When I asked 'B' what was holding him in this 'friendship' which 'B' describes as being a drain, he doesn't get anything out of it, wishes she would just 'leave' him alone.
I cannot seem to get a straight answer. Clearly there is more that is not being said. 'B' wants me to be patient as he declares he will end this with her, because he doesnt thnik she is going to accept that he wants to be with me, she will not accept me, he thinks.
"B' said he told her he wanted to work things out with me, and do what ever it took to get back with me (this was prior to him actually calling me) and she got very angry..
I am writing this, and I don't buy it either... It was one of the hardest things I had ever done when I originally walked away from 'B'.
Anyway, I generally have no problems with dating a man who has female friends (platonic), I have male friends (platonic). But my friends do not dictate how I conduct my relationships, they have lives and relationships of their own.. I really think this thing with 'B' and his friend is not healthy, nor is it something I want to get involved with....so I guess I have have made up my mind.
Thank-you (for listening)
Peace
As long as you trust your partner it shouldn't matter, it's not like they are raising kids together.
I have to trust my guy to be honest about the situation. I NEVER trust the other woman and I fight back my insecurities and let him do what he wants. Now if we were married then I would natually assume that I'm his best friend. I don't know that I would trust every man but my guy now is very trust worthy. Even if he messes up he suffers the consequences and fills me in.
This type of stuff like this, it's a NO NO. No respect and trying to be with a marry or in relationship man it's fucken wrong! Those women can f**k them self!!!
Or to turn this on its ear..."No, I don't care if my woman's best friend is a guy."
Truly and honestly I don't. I have a number of really great friends that are women, and some of my exes are still really close friends who I can trust for really great advice and guidance. I'm secure in who I am and in my relationship with my GF, and the majority of her friends are guys. I guess the way I've always seen it has been if she is going to go off and play then nothing I say or do will stop it, and not giving her my full trust (until it is broken) only weakens the relationship. Sure, I've been cheated on by giving that full level of trust, but it hasn't changed my ideals, undermined my self-esteem, or caused me to be in any way reluctant to fully trust someone new in my life. What they chose to do had no bearing on who I was, or am, as a person or in a relationship...it just showed me the ugly truth of who they are.
I do trust my man, it's the women I don't trust. Single women are expecially a no no. Mutal female friends (not best friends) hanging out with us both is alright, I don't really mind. But I would be upset if he started to hang out with her a lot just one on one. I never hang out with men one on one and I bet my man is glad.
Yes this happend to me quite a few times with my husband begining 3 months into our Marrgie supposedly he only has women Friends, well almost every women friend has wanted to sleep with him even after thay met me and have had close interactions with our son on many ocassions, almost seven years in our Marriage i dont even care anymore-- im like what ever you know!!! When ever he tells me anything -- i have nothing to say i guess you can say i have become numb--
Not my boyfriend's best friend. I've lucked out with her.
There are a few other girls in our friend circle that are best friends with dudes and have the "but he's just my friend, so it doesn't matter and no one should be upset if I tease and flirt"-attitude. If his best friend acted like that, I'd be ticked!!!
I definitely care! A female friend of ours (who claimed to be a lesbian..???) kissed him and told him she wanted him....and he didn't do much to stop her until I found out. I don't think I could begin to trust him if he has "alone time" with girl friends. At least not yet. Not to mention the girls.......no respect
ladies and gents, i am just gonna put it out there. it should be forbidden fruit if your smart. a man does Not need a female for a best friend. he has a mother, wife, girlfriend. he only has her around because he is IN LOVE with HER, and for whatever reason cant be with her, but cant live without her. so he settles for whatever she can give him, until they can be together. so ladies BEWARE, of the man with who's best friend is a woman because you will always be second best. take it from a guy its just the way it is, ask a round.
