I think I would find that easier to cope with because at least I would know that he hadn't upped and left our joint world through choice. But he is still alive, barely 2 miles from where I type now and he chose to disappear, he chose to cut me off in a very cruel way. And that is what hurt and still hurts even now.
I'm seeing him for the cold cruel callous man he really was deep down, more as time moves on. It took our breakup for me to see his true colours. I might have married him and had kids with him. Doesn't bear thinking about....
My life is ok, I have alot of good things happening around me, lots of wonderful opportunities and interesting people who want to be my friend if only I would just let them in lol!
I know one thing though - I know I am capable of love and I could never treat anyone like he did me. Without the capacity to love another truly he is nothing.
I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Maybe it will help someone else when they're googling for guidance through their tears.
I hope so....
Until next time,