Notes By a Sardonic Smart-Ass No.1

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Notes By a Sardonic Smart-Ass No.1

# Because I'm not talking about my ex-bfs, kids, marriage, anything
relationship-wise, future plans, present plans, and dating life is
because I don't want to.

# I'm not getting turned on when you complain, rant, diss, or talk down
others. Take a good look. Am I your mom? Wait, she wouldn't want to
hear it either.

 

# If you check out that other girl one more time, I'll ask her to come
over and take my place. That way, maybe two people would be happier
instead.

# If someone calls me, and I do decide to pick up or text, it's because
I'm popular and have a wider social circle than you and I, actually.
It's also because I don't care if you're offended by this.

# If you are offended by my stepping outside to answer a phone call,
putting my elbows on the table, or being very engrossed in my food,
then thank God it's only a first date. I can have no qualms about
disrupting future laid dating plans with you.

# I debate, discuss, and contemplate because it's what people do when
they have opinions and a working brain. If you aren't expecting it, so
what. I'll discuss that too.

# Do not expect me to kiss you if your breath smells like the food we just had.

# If I don't call you after a successful date, it's because I'm not needy, clingy, or Taiwanese.

# If I don't act, speak, think, dress, argue, or date like a Taiwanese woman, it's because I'm not one.


# If I don't act, speak, think, dress, argue, or date like a typical/common/ordinary/no
rmal woman, it's because I am actually not one.

# When you see that I think highly of myself, exude confidence and
cynicism, communicate often with sarcasm and wit, do not fall for the
usual servings of compliments, pick apart your opinions to pieces, and
search for flaws in you, it's because I aim to.

# I did not agree to go on a date with you to pamper your ego. I'm not
even going to have sex with you tonight, so what's the point?

# If I make you feel uneasy, it's because I thrive in doing so.

# I do tend to cut my attention short when you start talking about your
ex, past r'ships, your familial issues, identity issues, your issues
with the path your life is on, and work stresses. Take a good look. I'm
not your shrink. Hold on, he/she wouldn't want to hear it either.

# I should just skip first dates altogether.

 
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