Despite April showers passing their usual terminus of May 1, 12:00 AM, it is starting to feel a little like springtime. Flowers are blooming. Birds and bees are doing their thing. Open-toed shoes and short skirts aren't wildly inappropriate. Yessir, spring is awakening and not a moment too soon. This past winter was a bit on the cool side so it's time to doff those coats and spring into… spring. But how do you know if a guy is ready for the spring you? Here are seven questions to see if a guy has spring fever (this spring):
- Is he sneezing a lot with water and itchy eyes? Chances are he has hay fever (or an allergy to pollen). Sorry.
- Is he hard to motivate? Does he let assignments wait until the last minute? Chances are he has senioritis. Sorry (also, you should consider dating a non-high school student).
- Does he have several of the following symptoms: difficulty breathing or shortness of breath, pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen, sudden dizziness, confusion, severe or persistent vomiting? He may (but probably doesn't) have Swine Flu. Sorry.
- Is he wearing a visor, sunglasses with Croakies and Lacoste shorts? While it may be spring, he may be a Spencer Pratt. Sorry.
- Is he less prone to sleeping all of the time? Be very careful and do not make any moves… he may be a bear. Sorry (you may want to consider running in a zig-zag fashion).
- Has he started wearing birks, playing hacky sack and throwing the Frisbee to excess? Yeah, your guy is a hippie. Sorry.
- Is he constantly checking out your low-cut top? Is he eying up your bare legs? Yeah, he's just a regular guy. Sorry.
How about that? It looks like Spring Fever may not exist for men. Hmm. Next time around, I'll figure out if men really do become "girl crazy."