Avoid The Ambiguous Dater (Are We Dating Or Not?)

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Woman reading while guy sleeps
If you can't tell if he's into you or not, find someone who shows what he feels.

Every woman I know has been in this situation at one time or another, wondering whether the guy she's wasting—I mean, spending most of her time with is interested in her as a girlfriend or just a buddy.

In my case, his name was Daniel. He'd flirt, drive me around in his cool vintage car, and generally make me feel like the coolest, prettiest, most fun girl in the world. We hung out 24/7. He was like my boyfriend, except he never made a move. Ever.

I've never been one to play it cool, so my ginormous crush stank up every room we entered. I was too shy to actually articulate my feelings, but I eventually figured out that while he genuinely liked me, mostly he was using me for ego gratification while he pursued other women he actually wanted to get physical with. Things came to a head one night when I ran into Daniel while I was out at a bar with a spectacularly handsome, much younger French dude.

Predictably, seeing me out with someone much prettier than either he or I ignited a fire under Daniel's non-committal butt. He grabbed me on my way to the bathroom and cornered me like he was going to kiss me. A week prior, I would've been in heaven. But this night, I was with someone who was not only into me, he was unapologetic about saying so. I shoved Daniel away, hissing that he'd had his chance and the only reason he wanted me now was because I was no longer available for ego-feedings. He gulped and looked ashamed. That was the last time I put up with an ambiguous boy.

Finish reading this article at The Frisky.

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  • Philematology is the study of kissing. Philamamania is the compulsion to kiss and a philematophobe is one who dislikes kissing.