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The Links: Worst Divorces & Hiding Money

divorce
Sex

Hoarding cash, Craigslist hustling, first kisses and gender non-specific promiscuity.

It's that time again, I cruise around the entire interweb and find the most noteworthy stories, advice or anecdotes about love (and relationships). No jokes about Swine Flu today and I will not talk about that plane that flew a little too low over Manhattan yesterday with a fighter jet in-tow. I will talk about…

Awful divorces. Cracked has compiled a compendium of their ten stickiest divorces of all time. That guy who gave his wife a kidney and tries to get cash value after the fact even made the list.

Cash Rules Everything Around Me, too. That's why I'm not terribly surprised that a husband freaked out when he found his wife was keeping $800 grand in a secret account. The wife is naturally suing her bank for letting the cat out of the bag. Jezebel has the detes and is, surprise-surprise,  sympathetic with the wife in a backhanded, read between the lines sort of way.

The Daily Beast knows that sometimes money's a little short and you've gotta turn to "hustling." And given recent events they want you to be as safe as possible out there. That's why they've produced a sex worker's guide to Craigslist from a real-life former escort (or is she a former real-life escort?)

Speaking of short, in their ongoing segment of "What Not To Say To A [Insert Adjective] Woman," Asylum informs us of what not to say to a pint-sized gal. I would have added, "Hey what's your favorite Louisa May Alcott book novel? ZING!"Read Short Man in Love

Glamour breaks down what dudes think the first time they're working on the night moves with a new gal. Old Jake gives you a sneaky peaky at what most guys think. I, for one, just try my best not to think of something so funny that I start laughing. Step Brothers, for example.

Sometimes first-time sex is of the casual variety. Em & Lo compile an incredible list of the 13 kinds of casual sex. They may have forgotten payback sex… ie "thanks for helping with my taxes… now let's get them pants off."

Over at Lemondrop, they realize that chicks like sleeping around too. Maybe as much as dudes. Evidently, the old theory that men try to cast their seed as wide as possible while women try to retain the best dude possible is somewhat specious. Or as a D-Fyne (not Lil Kim) raps, "Bitches are hustlers too."

And the whole thing starts with booze. The lads over at AskMen advise on how to purchase a drink for a gal at a bar. I suppose these tricks should work for women buying a man a tipple. I did not know that women subconsciously drink at the same rate as the person they are next to. That may explain the pack bathroom mentality. Or not.

Sometimes we (men) forget important stuff when we're drunk. Sometimes we forget important stuff when we're sober, so let's not blame alcohol prematurely, OK? Our buddies over atm College Humor once missed Valentine's Day by 14 weeks.

Speaking of getting out of hot water, there's a church down in Florida that has been touting the importance of a great sex life in regard to a happy marriage. But the New Hope Church, per the Huffington Post, may need a new home since the school district is not in love with their use of a public elementary school. (Note: I intentionally did not make a Star Wars Episode IV joke, some things are sacred.)

But can you even get to the 'til death part if the first kiss doesn't work? Marie Claire does a he said / she said on the topic of bad first kisses. I was always under the impression that first kisses, like pizza, were naturally awesome. Apparently, I've got some phone calls to make.

And now a few things are illuminated. A bad first kiss could really minimize the chance for a second date. The Frisky lays down the word on letting someone know that a second date shall not be in the offing. Good to know.

And finally, over at YourTango, we've an essay by Abby Ehmann about what she's learned from watching 500 pornos. That must have been one crazy weekend.

Any links that I missed or you think I ought to hit next week? Holler atcher boy.

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