Everybody Wang Chung tonight. According to a noteworthy UK rag, The Sun, the average dude wishes his dinger was an inch longer, irrespective of how big he actually is. The article, by one "Dear Deidre," mentions that the average man's gym dandy is 5.2 inches whilst at full-attention (filled with blood).

Deidre goes on to give a pep talk to guys who are on the not well-endowed side. Essentially, she insists that much of the self-esteem problem that dudes have involve perception. More or less, dudes on the average side don't see it that way because they get a little crossed up by the Dirk Digglers of adult entertainment. Plus when, ugh, checking out other dudes at the gym (a YMCA I'd guess), looking down rather than looking across skews perception, negatively. And, lastly, the old chestnut regarding the "angle of the dangle" and "the heat of the meat" probably doesn't help matters.

Old girl goes on to say that the best lovers don't rely solely on their crotchal region for pleasing their partners, given the anatomical nature of the female fun zone. Evidently, like a lot of things, being cocksure is more important than being cockdiesel. Attitude matters more than magnitude. Really, she could have gone with one of two old nuggets: one regarding the size of a boat and the motion of the ocean and the other emphasizing use rather than size. All in all, she's of the opinion that men are far more obsessed with trouser snake length than women are (though she said nothing of girth, which is more of a traditional showstopper).

In summary, male-enhancement pills really don't work and you're not doing anyone any favors by obsessing about junk dimensions. It's possible, in theory, to please someone without a large penis (note to ladies: even if his babymaker isn't particularly impressive, you can go a long way by referencing its majesty). Even if Steve Martin claims the key to being successful is "have a big penis." And to prove the point that no one wants to continually hear about size, here's James Franco inability to get over his little dingdong: