Remember how Heidi and Spencer got married in Mexico for Us Weekly's cameras? And how they're doing it again, "for real," tomorrow in Pasadena? Yeah, no one cares. And by "no one" we mean that the major tabloid weeklies turned the manufactured couple down when they offered exclusive photo rights. What you are hearing now is some unseemly giggling from our home office.
The editor in chief of In Touch, Richard Spencer, says, "The total number that [Montag and Pratt] used to get from exclusive photos is down." That's probably because magazine advertising is in the gutter, even for raggedy tabs, and a fakey-fake second wedding isn't going to snag newsstand buyers.
More from YourTango: Nicki Minaj's Most Skintastic Instagrams
For more evidence that Spencer and his creepy flesh-colored beard (no, we mean his actual gross facial hair) aren't headed for the big time, look to David Letterman's interview last night with his The Hills costar, Lauren Conrad. "That snake, Spencer," Letterman said. "He's so creepy. I don't like the guy."
We've agreed with Letterman before (mainly about how much we like that deli outside his studio), but this calls for a hearty huzzah, especially when he called Spencer a "putz," for making up the Lauren Conrad sex tape rumor. "He's so oily," Letterman continued.
More from YourTango: Sources Speak Out On Khloe Kardashian & Matt Kemp Hookup Rumors
Given how little attention people seem to be paying to the glorious, sanctified Pratt-Montag nuptials, we would not be shocked if the couple does something truly ridiculous to grab headlines, like send Heidi down the aisle in a seven-month fake pregnancy belly, or set the church on fire. For the record, that last one would be a bad idea.
Via MSNBC. Photo courtesy of Splash News.