Timmy Gordon On Facebook Status Changes

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timmy gordon
The Facebook legend introduces his new column.

Dear Sirs and Madams:

By the looks of it, there is a propaganda campaign against yours truly on the informative super-freeway. The conspiracy has maligned my character and made it almost impossible to get anyone up to Lookout Point. Plus the guys at work have been razzing me non-stop. Please watch the TV show below and tell me if anything I did was really worth the hubbub:

 

About as funny as a screen door on a submarine, right? But has anyone thought about my feelings? I admitted that what I did was "L7" all the way and said sorry. I know that Alice was real frosted but she didn't have to spend time in the "joint." There were some real hooligans in there and hard men doing hard time.

I did learn some new tricks in the "big house." I can almost do 25 push-ups, I make my bed about everyday, I read most of this great book called Catch The Rye and I think I might be able to grow a beard now. And I know that I'll never get in a midnight tizzy over some fast broad again. Even if she is "stacked" like a Cadillac (my probation on the Communism charges made me name names, I won't do that again without a subpoena).

The people at YourTango have allowed me the opportunity to clear my good name in this periodical. Readers can read about my philosophy on life and love about once per week. Chances are you have already done it, but feel free to become my pal on the electric friendship generator (most dopes call it Facebook). 

See you later, alligator.