Not that anyone watches the Miss USA Pageant any more, but you may recall a flap about Miss California. It had something to do with Judge Perez Hilton (no, it is the same one you're thinking of who draws ding dongs on people and tries to out gay celebs) being really unhappy with her answer regarding gay marriage. After which, the entire country came unglued (we kid, most people said, "Meh, wake me up when Angelina Jolie adopts an alien.")

At any rate, Miss California (Carrie Prejean) has since been called all sorts of mean names (one of them an acronym for making plans the proximate Tuesday) and garnered from the media (and talking heads) no small amount of attention for voicing her fairly conservative belief that marriage is more-or-less a one dude plus one chick scenario. Given the successful passing (or failed blocking, given your point of view) of Proposition 8, it is possible that her opinion actually does jive with many Californians (the voters, at any rate).

And if the junction of Perez Hilton, the Miss USA Pageant and Prop 8 weren't enough to completely blow you mind, RadarOnline is saying that Michael Phelps and his long torso are somehow involved. Per RadarOnline, Prejean's grandma, Jeanette Coppolla, says that the half-man, half-manatee (and the other half amazing) calls Carrie Prejean when he passes through town and they go to ball games together. It'll probably just blow over, nothing sticks to the Teflon Dolphin.

And, per Metro, Britney Spears has inserted her opinion into the conversation. She Tweeted (on Twitter) something ambiguous about love that has been interpreted to mean that she thinks gay marriage is pretty much okeedokee.

And, finally, Gay Wired is less than thrilled with the disparate treatment between Perez Hilton (nee Mario Lavandeira) and Carrie Prejean by Matt Lauer (the glib putz). Although it can't be that much of a shock that a snarky, 31-year old media maven and a 22-year old ingénue get somewhat unequal treatment. (BTW: Her Wikipedia page is the next battleground in the gay marriage war, ugh.)

All we can add is that it's really a bummer that this went down the way it did, we were looking forward to making the Zach Galifianakis-esque joke like, "Carrie Prejean? That sounds like the name of a pre-op transsexual from a Sissy Spacek movie."

Photos: Splash