Tips On Interracial Dating
One of our blogger friends, Funky Brown Chick, schools the masses on dating black women.
As much as we wish nationality wasn't such an issue in dating, you'd be shocked how often we hear this type of thing, too. Even in passing. And while this is specifically geared toward black women, you could certainly cut and paste any race that isn't yours into these tips. That is, if you're feeling uneasy...
Get your pencils ready folks, number 1's a doozy:
1.) ASK HER OUT: "If you've never dated a black woman before and you'd like to ask someone out, simply say something like: "Hey, are you free on Friday? Maybe we could be grab coffee or drinks or something?" Yep, my sweeties, it’s that easy." Touché! Attracted to a woman? Ask her out. How novel. Got that fellas?
2.) DON'T PRETEND YOU'RE BLACK: This one's embarrassing, but some poor misguided folks have dated Funky Brown Chick and morphed into a walking, talking Black Appreciation Parade. Don't say dorky things like "Black women have more flava" or bust into a freestyle rap.
3.) BE TRUTHFUL: She says it's OK to cop to never dating a black chick if you want. But don't (and this should be a rule when dating anyone) pretend you are looking for somethings serious when really all you want is to add Black Woman (or whatever race) to your sex resume. "There are plenty of places and opportunities to do that," she says. "Place a Craigslist add. Look into raceplay communities."
4.) BE OPEN-MINDED: She cautions against sticking your foot in your mouth when faced with a differing opinion. Again, this could be a general dating tip, but when in the company of a different race it's only natural to have an opposing opinion when discussing certain topics. "When dating someone from a background other than your own, be prepared to brush up against ideas that may or may not run counter to your beliefs. In that case, resist the urge to think your way is automatically "right" and theirs is "different" (read: "wrong"). You might learn something new."
5.) SEE HER AS A WOMAN FIRST: Try to avoid seeing this as some sort of racial science experiment. You're on a date, remember, with another human being, remember. Relax. "I could be completely loony and totally off base with this," she says. "But I think most people want to be cherished / loved / cared for / desired / etc. for who THEY are. Spend a little time getting to know her. Act like it’s a, you know, DATE."
Discussion
Bravo! Yes, this article needed to be written, and thank you for doing so... I agree with the original disclaimer - the fact that this article is even necessary is sad but true.
I am a black woman who is dating a white man who I met on the Internet. So far so good! We treat each other like people, not experiments - yet we dont ignore the colorful elephant that is in the room...
Ultimately - if things continue to go well for us - and I think they will - it will be because we like each other as human beings and have a solid common ground :)
As a black woman, I have come across both. The white guy who justs wants to "test the water" and those who gotten to know me as a person and dated me for I am.
My last relationship lasted eight years, we lived together for seven, and our difference of race wasn't a factor. Unfortunately it was differences of lifestyle that tore us apart.
My ex was a funny, warm, loving person, but when things got rough and the sex dwindled, he bailed. Which leads me to believe that our sex life (which was red-hot and nearly daily), was the largest reason why we were together for so long.
I can't speak for white men, or my ex, but I truely loved him as a person and I don't know if he can or ever could say the same thing about me.
Well, i wouldnt mind to date a woman out of my race as a Hispanic guy, but the main problem is language barrier. My accent is not that great, so i feel like it would be a complete turn off/ negative sign for the girl without actually even knowing me.
On the other hand, i feel like some hispanic girls are do attracted to black men and that a complete red flag to hispanic guys who might feel they are being singled out.
Well, thats just my thoughts about it. Hopefully im wrong.
I hate when guys just want to add a black girl to their "sex resume"....I find that to be the most hurtful/offensive of all. Please do not come at me with the intention of just trying to get into my pants and then leave. Sometimes that's why I will be a little wary upon meeting a white guy who is interested in me. I don't just want to become your little "sex thing"!
TO THE AUTHOR OF THIS ARTICLE::: YOU'RE WONDERFUL!!
It's about time that someone told the truth. People aren't sub-human animals because they aren't white, or don't share an Anglo-Saxon Christian Republican culture!!
Cultures are more similar than different, humans are human. All cultures have their great points and crappy ones. Everyone must remember to date as if you are dating a person, not a race.
Unfortunately we live in a world where racism is the norm, and I think that it will always be.
Well I'm not a black woman, but I know a thing or two about interracial dating, in fact thats all I know. I think I have dated someone of my own race only once, and it did not go past the second date.
I agree, you must be open minded when dating out-side your race, as different ethnicities have different upbringing and sometime have different values. But those different values and upbringings are what make me attracted to men outside of my race. I am what society classifies as "white" because I am not Asian, Black or Hispanic, But I don't see myself as a race...in fact a lot of people ask me what nationality I am, and I often find that amusing, and tend to quiz them asking the to guess first.....I have heard it all by now lol
Back to the point though...Even though we all have different upbringing and values, we are all only human and all live up to some stereotypes and contradict some stereotypes. I have dated Asian men, Hispanic men, African American men, native African men, and even an English man who had tanned skin but I have no idea what his race was lol. The only conclusion I have come to is that all of them treated me just the same...some have a different approach, but in my eyes they are all equally as qualified or disqualified...if that makes any sense. The reality is that I prefer African American men....They tend to be a little more open minded than most men know, and I feel like I can relate to African American men more than others....also I find them to be the most attractive. Good men come in every color, it's a matter of the person inside in my opinion.
