While some women have trouble with breasts that droop or low-hanging butt cheeks, my heart has always been my least-resilient body part. Like Chet Baker once crooned, I fall in love too easily. And once it ends—especially when it's not my idea—I tend to have a little trouble getting back up on that passion pony. The worst time was after a six-year relationship went kibosh (translation: he dumped me). I didn't so much as kiss another man for two years. I know. It still makes me shudder.
Sure, I was busy moaning, moping, sobbing, and sighing for the first six or eight post-dump months, but by month 10, I thought I was ready to move on. For the next year and a half, I kept wondering, mostly aloud, to anyone within earshot, why nothing was happening. It was only in retrospect that I noticed what a basketcase I'd become…
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1. Ex-Chatter: Kvetching about your ex to someone you're interested in dating is a universally agreed upon very bad idea. Yet it bears repeating. In my case, he was all I could talk about. After all, he had been the main person in my life for the past six years, so most roads led back to him. A sensible person could've let the occasional reference drop and move on from there, but my mistake was a tendency to let those recollections lead into a sobbing reenactment of our break-up. Hot, right?
In short, "I went to Greece with an ex" is OK. Anything involving descriptions of his muscles, or stories that make you burst into tears or start hollering about the big jerk, are not.
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