Ease the tension in your relationship by calling a truce and staying friends.
Investing in your ex can pay huge dividends. Yes, you heard me right. Of course, I'm excluding any ex who was abusive or unsafe in any way, including one you still love.
My husband left, but I wasn't in love with him when we divorced. I didn't hate him either. I just accepted that we weren't compatible and that divorce was a change for the better. We had two small children, so I wanted to have good relations with him to make the situation easier for the kids.
Keeping the relationship peaceful will reduce stress that could otherwise cause mental and physical health problems. Keep in mind, stress can also hurt you financially, if you become incapacitated due to health ailments. Also, staying on good terms will reduce or eliminate costly trips back to court to hash out problems; hiring lawyers can be like taking a match to your savings.
Here are some ways to stay on good terms with your ex:
1. Use kind words when speaking with him. Treat him as if he were your best friend or, better yet, a new friend you're trying to impress. When requests start out with, "Would you mind?" or "I could use some with help," try to add the caveat, "But I understand if you're too busy."
Try to say something complimentary when you speak to him, and always remember to say "please" and "thank you." In fact, "thank you" were the most powerful words I had when we first divorced. He expected me to complain constantly, given that we had two very young children and I was the primary caretaker.
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