5 Things Your Mother-In-Law Won't Admit
Her vow of silence when it comes to you and her son.
So you married your soul mate and are about to walk down the aisle towards the start of something special. Don't be alarmed if there's a tugging at your sleeve as you link arms with Mr. Wonderful and head off into the horizon.
That's not an overzealous bridesmaid biting at your heel; it's your husband's mother.
Before becoming your husband, the man of your dreams was the center of someone else's universe, his mother's. Mama's boy or not, your husband's mother had first dibs on your guy even before you were old enough to walk, let alone say "I do." Now that you're married, there are a few things she'd like you to know about the man you now call your own.
Reader's Digest recently published a list of 13 Things Your Mother-in-Law Won't Tell You compiled by Susan Abel Lieberman, PhD author of The Mother-in-Law's Manual and Jane Angelich author of What's a Mother [in-Law] to Do? A few mother-in-laws chimed in, anonymously of course, but as expected.
We thought we'd take a stab at her, err, it as well.
1. He'll treat you the same way he treats me. If your guy calls his mother every day, chances are he's just as likely to check in with you as often. Likewise, if a man forgets his mama's birthday, don't expect there to be frequent bouts of flowers and chocolate.
2. I'm ready for you to have children even if you're not. Although the word "grandma" might not be her cup of tea, from the moment your man left home, she's been craving the opportunity to cradle a little one. Just because she's not taking you shopping at Babies R Us doesn't mean there's not a stack of onesies waiting in the guest bedroom.
3. If you leave me alone in your house, I'm going to snoop. Oh please, as if you wouldn't do the same. Bedrooms may be off limits but the kitchen is fair game. Don't stock your fridge with frozen dinners unless you're prepared to be judged.
4. I care about your sex life. This has less to do with the aforementioned child rearing and more to do with the fact that good sex usually leads to a healthy marriage. She may not want to hear all the details but she cares your guy's happiness just as much as you do.
Discussion
There is a link between how a person treats their parents and how they treat their spouses...my husband had a poor example of relationship dynamics from his parents as did I and we have had to work to overcome these first lessons. Now my boyfriend has a good relationship with his parents and so far he treats me with respect and gentleness as well as being a very direct and straightforward person. Just goes to show you how much you should treat your spouse with respect, gentleness and love if you want your child to have a happy and successful relationship later on.
I hope that when my son finds that special someone that I won't feel jealous and angry about the way he love her (or him) but that they will feel confident in their love and allow me to celebrate it with them. I don;t mind watching from the sidelines but for goodness sake I hope they won't expect me to be a monster-in-law right off the bat!
