Perfecting Support For A Laid-Off Spouse
Making a marriage work on one income, with help from fleeting freelance jobs, can be tough.
The social and economic contract of a freelancer is that you're there to fill a temporary need. You're an extra set of hands, some extra expertise. You hope that the projects come in steadily enough to allow you to stay on, but you know that there may be a dry spell, and when that day comes, it's hardly a surprise. There's also the implicit understanding that when there's more work, you can come back.
It's simply not personal. But that's the downside, too. "I never got emotionally attached," said Marco. And he would have liked to; he's a social kind of guy. Freelancers can feel isolated—especially when they're a little older than their temporary colleagues, as was the case here. "As a freelancer, there's this pressure not to hang out by the water cooler when you're on the clock," Marco says. There's also a certain distance kept between you and the work. You don't have ownership. If the work gets recognition or an award, a freelancer is not guaranteed credit. Nobody on the outside knows who you are. You feel anonymous. You're not really a full personality within the organization. It's like meeting someone at a bar, taking them home, and realizing you never even got their last name.
So here we are once again, both of us working at home, me on my writing and consulting, Marco on his design portfolio. I'm taking pains not to slip back into that awful mode of helicopter spouse. He's being more careful this time not to look like he's slipping into eternal weekend mode. While we're a little freaked out and holding each other close, it's not like we're having to recover from another unexpected great blow. It feels like an open moment, both for Marco and for our relationship. We're both on the tightrope, keeping our balance. And for now, that feels okay.
Written by Deborah Siegel for Recessionwire.com.
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