Does A Crappy Economy Mean Beefcake Men Are In?

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beef cake man
A Daily Mail writer says metrosexuals left with job security.

Do we as a society prefer different looking men depending on the state of our bank accounts? Does unemployment cause us to instinctively eye skinny guys? Burly types? Oh, and by the way—Jared Leto's androgynous hotness happened during a 'late 90's Clinton-era economy happy day. Coincidence?

According to Daily Mail writer Tanya Gold, a self-proclaimed meaty man lover, those skinny jean wearing pretty boys are as out as investment bankers, and to replace them? The Daniel Craigs and Hugh Jackman's of the celebrity world. Gold thinks us ladies want the strong, fleshy arms of a "beefcake" to rock us through the dark, daunting days of an economic downturn.

"It should come as no surprise," writes Gold. "Economic depressions have always walked hand in hand with the worship of raw machismo. That is just the way it goes."

Gold goes throughout the years and outlines all of Hollywood's heartthrobs, proving her economic climate thesis. During the Great Depression of the 1930s, she says, it was the "dark" "dangerous" Clark Gable who enjoyed a hey day. During another lecherous economic downturn, the 1970s, she sites the maniacal grin of Jack Nicholoson, and masculine stylings of Robert DeNiro and Gene Hackman. Not a fem in the bunch.

Come to think of it, didn't the boom of the Reagan's '80s spawn the eye-liner wearing new wavers like Duran Duran and George Michael? The first of these pansy ladymen she vomits at?

Yes, and you can have your "childlike men" from the mid '90s when all was well in the state of credit, housing, and job growth.

"They were tiny, childlike men with no body hair and spindly legs," Gold snarls. "They had concave faces, hollow cheekbones, jutting hips and the open, bewildered expressions of children. They were the size zero men, men by genitals alone, and to me they were as sexy as toast. They looked ill. They looked dead."

Jeez. Of all the hey-look-on-the-bright-side-during-this-economic-crisis pieces of journalism we've read, this absolutely takes the (beef) cake. Nice to see the recession is putting some hair on your chest, fellas.

As she says, "Hardship gives great love, if you let it."
 

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