Women and Porn....NOT!
Womens' hang ups about men and porn.
Yup, you feline's are going to have to explain it to me. What is the deal about once a guy gets in a relationship with a female he has to give up the porn? Like women will give up their chick flicks or for the more adventurous erotica. Never mind the hot and steamy novels. Guy stuff vs women stuff to feed the fantasies.
Don't get it. Had several friends divorce their husbands because they caught them JO to a Penthouse magazine. They were cheating....My first question was "What time did you catch them?" Both their answers were in the morning. Second question, "Do you allow morning sex?", and again both their answers were a disgusted emphatically proclaimed "Absolutely not!" Ummm, okay. Never mind a lot of guys wake up with boners and were probably being courteous to your grumpy "You've lost your mind" no morning self. Third question, tentatively asked, "Why is this cheating? It is ink on paper." Poor guy gets a hard one first thing, needs a little help, looks at a magazine, and gets in trouble. Not like she was there for him, so he is there for himself. At the doctors office they even give helpful visual aids....think about it. It is normal.
I could not believe it, their answer was "We are married they should not want to look at anyone but me; but by JO to a picture of another woman than they are thinking of her not me. That's cheating." I cracked up, and the unappreciative look they were giving me made me laugh even more. It would not be so sad if it had not happened at two totally separate times in two different states. Really, it is just ink on paper! OMG!
So just to stir the pot a little I asked, "So I guess you would get really upset if he watched a porno movie?"
Yup, they got a divorce because their guy was cheating. Hey, swear to God I did not know my husband gave them one out of our collection, but needless to say they think I did and are no longer friends.
What is up with this? Guys are guys! No not all guys are a like, but DAAAMMMMNNN! I bought my husband every dirty magazine I could find. We had a library of movies, both porno and erotica. No he never really got the point of erotica - Red Shoe Diaries, Kings Whore, Dangerous Liasons, etc, but really enjoyed the benefits. No I don't really like most of porn, but again I enjoy the benefits. We checked it all out together.
His ex girlfriend broke up because he said some 1980's Stevie Nicks video was hot. Broke up and kicked him out of her house. My neighbor recently made her husband sleep in the other room for two weeks because he said the USA Olympics women's beach volleyball team were hot in their white bikini's. They were hot! Get over it! It has nothing to do with you! As if she didn't check out the really hot cowboy at the mall and even made mention.
Discussion
Okay, so this is just guy opinion, but perhaps its more of a security issue. LyndaW here is obvisously very secure in herself, her sexuality, and her affect on her husband. I'm willing to bet that she was like this before the marriage. That they have healthy sexual appetites and a healthy mentality towards them in exploring them is great! It takes a modicum of security in yourself to be consiously agreeable to letting your SO get hot and bothered by fantasising of someone else.
A woman may want her man to view her as the only woman attractive enough to get us horny, but are your men really the only thing or people in the world to get you hot and bothered? Why expect something of us that you yourselves can't hold up to? I've read many romance novels (a dare from an ex when I questioned why she read them, so I read her whole collection). Its pretty much accepted that you ladies aren't so much visually aroused as mentally and emotionally. Hence erotica, romance novels, etc....although you will foam at the mouth (even if you hide it WAAAAYYYYYYY better then us guys do) when you see a hot example of your preffered sex walking in front of you. Aside from the guys that really do have clinical issues and become addicted to porn, Lynda was right...we forget about it. It serves its purpose for the moment (and odds are we were already horny before the naked woman appears), and then its forgotten just like the breakfast we had yesterday morning...at least I think I had breakfast.
I love when I catch other guys checking out my girl, and I point out guys that I know my SO would find hot. Why not? I look. I'm not blind and I don't expect my SO to be either. Ladies, when you start placing these restrictions on your men because you are insecure then you are effectively binding them, tieing them down as it were in a relationship. You are making them feel that there wants, needs, and desires, are bad or wrong or not allowed. You do that, and then you wonder why they don't share, why they never seem to want to do anything you want, why they never come up with something to do...you've already told us we can't...and like fools we stick around and listen and do it, because here is the rub...or now the lack of one...we actually do find you to be the hottest woman on the planet because of how much we actually care about you and love you. We see you in a completely different light from all of the collagen and plastic girls in the magazines and on the films. They aren't women that we want to be married to, raise children with, argue over remembering if we did watch Hellboy or not. They are just mindless fantasies. You are the reality.
The reason is that a woman wants to be the person who turns on her man the MOST, so we feel that if we DO and are attractive enough for them to get horny over, then why do they need porn too? It can be at times a jealousy thing, but cheating it is NOT. If all women knew just how much a guy has to pleasure himself on a daily, I think they might be a tad more understanding. At least, thats my take on it.
