Do cheaters deserve second chances?

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Do cheaters deserve second chances?

I've been pondering the questions, "Does anyone deserve a second chance?" and "Is cheating worth breaking up over?" for quite some time, and I'd like to take the opportunity to address both of those questions.

All women know that there has been some man that you've given a second chance, and a third, a fourth, a fifth...and so on. However, does anyone really deserve a second chance or when we pass out these "get out of jail free" cards are we really only prolonging the inevitable? Should we simply move on the first time that we break up? When and how does someone deserve a second chance?

The biggest issues are always cheating and trust. (Usually in that order.)

If someone cheats on you (or has an affair, whatever terminology you prefer) does he or she deserve a second chance? Should you break it off?

Well, you know as well as I do that if you discover that your lover is a cheater...you're going to have trust issues and no matter how hard you try, what you do, or your individual situation: you'll have a hard time trusting your partner again (if you ever trust them again).

You know that as soon you have the slightest suspicion that they're up to no good...you're going to obsess, you're going to question, you're going to suspect, and soon the question of whether or not your partner is being faithful will consume majority of your thoughts.

And you know that you will...because apparently it's a trait that all women inherit.

So, I want to know that if you discovered that your partner is cheating or has cheated...what would you do?

I've went both ways on this subject. I've handed out second chances like they were candy on Halloween, and I've also cut my losses and moved on. The man I continued to let come back (and yes, it happened more than once..or twice) eventually showed that he was never going to change and I cut him loose. He and I had dated on and off for 2.5 years. He's married now (surprisingly) and still calls from time to time wanting to know if we can "hook up" which shows me that he hasn't changed...Three years after our break up and he's still the same.

So, what would you do in the event you uncovered an affair?

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  • While the adultery statutes are rarely enforced, adultery is considered a crime in Michigan, Minnesota, and South Carolina.