I come from a very repressed background, dogmatic and orthodox. My DH used to joke that was what he was drawn to, my innocence and my repressed nature. Wanted to open me up.
8 years into it, and we now have an open marriage.
I like sex with my Mr., love the way he loves me. Am o.k. with him wanting adventure, but he is stellar, and I don't want for more. Am poly amorous by nature, this is well understood in my relationship, and I always seem to keep a strong love relationship with a woman, not so much sexual, just intimate, outside of and inside of my marriage. That has always been accepted by my Mr., amazingly accepted by him. I have always been open and honest about it, and it has always been accepted.
I think this has assisted in me feeling guilty.
He does not have a jealous bone, I do. I felt like I was getting more then him, and we both decided to open our relationship.
Thing is: I'm o.k. with it, and will continue to be o.k. with it, but it is just that. OK. No one compares to my Mr. and I find he is more excited about our open relationship then I am. I think it is fine, but my experience is that it is not as good with others, not as good as it is with him.
So I wonder, Why? For me? For him? for my guilt at having what I want?
I have more beautiful, open-minded, social women in my circle then most to be sure, and one would be an idiot not to want to tap that vein. I truly do understand the draw.
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