Sex In Marriage, the Tables Turned
It seems like the are so many articles out there about how to deal with the stereotypical situation of a guy wanting sex and the woman not being in the mood. What about when it's the other way around?
I have been married for less than a year. I am 24 and my husband is 27. I'm lucky if he will have sex with me once a week. I've tried to talk to him about it, but all he will say is that sometimes he simply isn't in the mood. This doesn't make sense to me. Even if I try to be sexy and flirty, he always just gets annoyed and rejects me. I want to feel desired. I want him to flirt with me. I want to feel some kind of sexual tension ... and I don't think I have gotten that from him since before we became an official couple ... months before we were even married. I'm convinced that he is depressed, because he tends to be more moody than any female I know. And I am hoping that him getting on some anti-depressants very soon will help our relationship improve.
Discussion
thanks. i am trying to figure it out. i think he has been depressed from feeling like a failure because he wasnt making enough money at crappy jobs but now he got a pretty good job and has joined the nat'l guard and i keep encouraging him in these things and tell him i am proud. i hope this brings his mood up and it lets out sexual relationship improve. and i think he is trying lately ... today we did it in the laundry room. lol :-)
Yeah, I think you guys need to have a serious convo. Make sure it happens in a loving way. Sit down tell him you're attracted to him and you desire him and you're frustrated that he revokes your advances and you're worried something else is wrong. I'd go at it from a calm loving stand point and give him a chance to tell you how he feels. Suggest that maybe his moods are affecting your life and would he see someone about it?
Be gentle. Give him time to think. I remember after my FIL died, my DH was really moody and quiet and aspects of our life suffered because of it. When I tried to talk to him about it, he didn't seem to know he was being moody. I tried to give him his space to work things through in his way and after almost a year, one day he came to me and apologized. He said he'd thought he'd been depressed for a whole year about his dad and was willing to work on it. I know a year seems like a long time, but if someone is depressed, they may not realize their moods or how they are affecting you.
Let us know how it goes.
