My Son And I Are Dating My Boyfriend

"I want him to be enthusiastic," I said. "All the time. I want my son to like him."

"If you start telling Andy how to act, you're going to do exactly the opposite of what you want," she said. "Besides, it doesn't sound like he did anything offensive."

She was right. 

"As the mother, you set the tone," my therapist instructed. "If you want your son and Andy to be comfortable, then you have to be comfortable. If you want Andy to be himself, then you have to be yourself."

When I talked to Andy that night after therapy, I confessed. "I was hard on you the last time you were over."

"I could have been a little more communicative about how I was feeling," he said. "Next time, I'll be more enthusiastic about my good nights. I'm sorry."

A few nights later, Andy came over about a half an hour before Jake's bedtime. We talked, did a puzzle, then Andy read a story about a beaver having trouble making a dam. We were both more relaxed, made fun of the troubled beaver, and I even went into the other room to get Jake a cup of milk without neurotically checking on them. With his pajamas on, Jake snuggled between me and Andy on the couch and we listened to Andy read the story.

When it was time to say good night, Andy gave Jake a high five.

Upstairs, I tucked Jake, his zebra, elephant and dinosaur under the covers.

"Did you have a nice time tonight, honey?" I asked.

"Yes," Jake said. "With Andy."

I went downstairs after Jake fell asleep and curled up with Andy on the couch. "He likes you," I said.

"Good, because I like him too," Andy said.

And there we were, the three of us, enjoying our new relationship.