Dating Weary? How A Matchmaker Can Help

We've had hundreds of relationships that have ended in marriage. I've tried to keep track of who gets married, but it got hard to even calculate. A lot of people don't let us know. They've dated, their memberships were up at the closing of the year, life goes on. Then a few years later we hear that they've gotten married, moved to Ohio and have two children. I have a whole brag wall in my office with wedding pictures and baby announcements and engagements. I've gone to many weddings, which is wonderful because it's great to think about how you were a part of these two people uniting in marriage.

But long-term relationships without marriage are also an important outcome of the service. We have clients who are older, in their fifties, and they've been married a couple times. They're looking for a life companion but they don't want to get married again. I've received cards from couples who have spent years together and they're vacationing in Tibet and they're really happy. They're just as important as the ones getting married and having children.

In all your years of matchmaking, what have you found to be the biggest obstacles and biggest assets to successful dating?

Timing is a huge part of it. If somebody met somebody at one point and was really frazzled, it might not work out. But if they met them at a later time period, it might be a whole other result. But it's interesting—some people say they're ready for love but when it's right in front of them they're not.

I truly believe that that gentle nudge or the encouragement to give a date a second try is critical. In the online dating world, a first date might not result in anything, but clients call us and say, "This is what's going on, should I give it a second try?" We increase our clients' potential to go out a second time, a third time, and once you have that hump of the third date and you're still enjoying each other the chances of things working out exceed 50 percent.  

So your suggestions then are: be open to it, aim for the right timing, have the right attitude, and check in with others.

From our perspective, it's really good because we know both parties. We know what's going on in their heads, and we know their behavior. Whereas your friend and your shrink are only getting your perspective on it. That's why the service is so critical—matchmakers  know both sides, can offer feedback and other parts of the dating process that just aren't possible through any other venue.