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Dating Weary? How A Matchmaker Can Help

Matchmaker Christie Nightingale tells us why matchmaking beats online dating.

Ten years ago, former New York fashion model and girl about town Christie Nightingale was looking for a career change. She'd always done well at parties, was an ace at networking and had successfully set up several friends on dates. She clearly had the skills to be a matchmaker, but it wasn't until a bona fide cupid family member encouraged her to investigate the field that she began to see it as a professional option for herself.

Nightingale paid a visit to said family member to master the ins and outs of the matchmaking business. Then she brought her newfound knowledge back to New York—where there were many services to assist daters (franchised dating services, internet sites, etc.), but very few matchmakers, aside from those who served very specific ethnic and religious groups.

Thus was born her matchmaking company, Premier Match. Attracting clients almost from day one, Premier Match has since successfully matched thousands of eligible singles from a wide variety of backgrounds, opened additional offices (two in the U.S. and a partnering service abroad), and won Nightingale the reputation of a respected relationship expert; she regularly dispenses advice on television and in print.

What has Nightingale learned from her decade of matchmaking? What do singles get from a matchmaker that they don't get elsewhere? And what do her clients have to teach the rest of us about love? YourTango spoke with Nightingale.

Who are your typical clients?

My clients are professionals. They all seem to have an undergraduate degree. And three-fourths of them have graduate degrees. Doctors, attorneys, lawyers, business owners, CEO types—those who want the attention, have the money to invest in the attention and just want it done right. We're focused on people who are really ready, and want a long-term relationship and marriage.

Why do people use a matchmaker rather than other dating services or methods?

My professional clients don't have the time to go online and conduct a search on their own. They work really long hours. They might be on a computer quite a bit at work, and the last thing they want to do when they get home is go back on the computer for two or three more hours and try to find a relationship.

Also, we do background checks and women appreciate that there isn't any misrepresentation. Other methods, like frequenting bars, are time-consuming and you never know who you're going to meet. Each of our members have their own search tailored around the needs of what they're looking for. We work on their behalf almost like a headhunting firm.  

Your website says that not all applicants are accepted for membership. What would make someone unsuitable for your services?

Can you relate?

Discussion

LeMaster Married I was born ready.
Posted March 25, 2009

If I wanted a matchmaker I'd just call my mother. But I don't think my wife would like that very much.

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Qverb Taken Rugburns, sarcasm, giggling, beautiful
Posted March 24, 2009

Kataroo-- Be careful if you choose to go down this route. Do as much research as you can on them. I went through this once with a local matchmaking firm when I was 18....yeah, too young to know any better, and, looking back, I can't even believe that they accepted me. For 3 matches the total bill was $500 dollars and no return policy. I went on one date with a girl a year older than me who had a child. At that time I specifically said I wanted to find someone without a child. Strike 2. Strike 3 was when I talked to the girl and found out she was involved only because a guy friend of hers worked for the company and needed more available women on the roster. She wasn't even looking for a relationship, and she only paid $80 for the service! I'm not saying that there aren't reliable matchmaking services out there, just be careful about the ones that you find.

Score: 0
Lolita Single It all feels good.
Posted March 24, 2009

Lyz-- Remember, no mortal man can compete with a biblical figure. Not even Johnny Depp or that guy in Twilight. No guy!

I think Miley Cyrus said that.

Score: 0
Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted March 24, 2009

True, if Johnny Depp ever became available I'd leave my DH in a heartbeat. Reason for divorce: JOHNNY DEPP. Johnny Depp, like Jesus sacrificed himself for the good of mankind, it was called Edward Scissorhands.

Score: 0
Kataroo Single Glass half full girl.
Posted March 24, 2009

Up until now, I've always sort of seen matchmakers as a last resort for the rich and awkward. But reading this, I can certainly see the benefits of using a matchmaker, especially for getting honest feedback after dates...which I don't think you'd be able to get otherwise.

Score: 0
BigAl Taken
Posted March 24, 2009

"We work on their behalf almost like a headhunting firm."

Headhunting firm. She said it, not me.

Score: 0
Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted March 24, 2009

I tried to set a guy friend up once. I put a lot of time and research into it. In the end, she broke up with him to spend more time with Jesus. I kid you not. I failed.

Score: 0

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