The challenge of course is willpower. I confess to getting a lot of pleasure out of convincing women to go back on their insistence that "there's NO way we're having sex tonight." Having done precisely what I'm describing above—bringing out my best in hopes of bringing out their wildest—I can't help but relish it if my date caves on her early commitment. But you know what? It made the actual act better for me—and the evening more fun overall. And for her? She got a few hours of me trying my hardest, and probably got better boot-knocking than she would have had we just sloshed back to my place and done it. Even if you find yourself saying yes after an evening of saying no, your time in bed (and the date as a whole) will benefit from whatever deferral you were able to muster.
The fact is: If you're compatible, you'll eventually make it to sex, but the longer you put it off (as long as nobody is getting too impatient), the better you'll be at all the non-sexual parts of loving—all the stuff that adds and enriches the sublime dance—and that will pay dividends down the line.
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