We were trawling around Yahoo! and stumbled upon one of those teasers that always gets us double-clicking. Today it was: Dating Secret: What Makes Men Fall In Love.
OK. Fine. We'll bite. Let's just see what Cosmopolitan (this particular source) has to say.
We kept in mind that these "tips" never manage to help us net a man (or even a second glance!) but we always learn a new silly girlish trick or two to stuff up our sleeve for later use. It's always something dumb, like next time we're in the company of fetching lad chew ice "seductively" in order to trigger some latent, instinctual sexual something that will subliminally give him the impression we're doable. Or something. We never remember to put them to use.
Perhaps we've successfully rid our psyches of the sage wisdom within the pastel covers of lady magazines, because this particular column had us horrified. Interchange the words "him" and "man" with "Fluffy" and the word "love" with "overnight carrier case" and you've got yourself a new advice column that would be a perfect fit "How To Get Them Ready For The Vet" in Cat Fancy magazine. We started feeling less like we were trying to please an actual man, and more like we were attempting to trap the neighborhood possum.
(There's a "men are dogs" joke in there somewhere, but we're too lazy to make it right now.)
Here are a few examples of how Cosmo advises we trap men into wanting to spend the rest of their lives with us:
Wear soft materials. Delicate textures like rayon, silk, and faux fur trigger an intense response in single men. These fabrics accentuate your softer, feminine nature, which heightens his amorous instincts.
Reinvent yourself. Little changes in your appearance now and then -- say, hair up in a ponytail one day, down the next, etc. -- remind him that you've got zillions of facets to your personality too. Read: no rut risks.