Do us a favor and remember this: never, ever count Bruce Willis out… of anything. You may think that your crack team of terrorists has the Nakatomi Plaza on lockdown but then you learn, Hans Gruber, that making Bruce Willis die is hard. And if you're an asteroid careening towards Earth, it's probably easy to overlook one man on a mission to prevent annihilation (or Armageddon, whatevs). But us regular people should not have, for a second, thought that Bruce Willis would take this Ashton Kutcher situations lying down.
To be honest, we initially expected fisticuffs or a pistol-whipping to occur but Bruce Willis the dude is more mellow than Bruce Willis the character. He got the best revenge by finding someone even younger than Demi Moore's Ashton Kutcher* and, in our opinion, better looking.
And because a good action star needs a climactic moment, Bruce Willis' coup-de-grace is marrying young Ms. Emma Heming. The actor and the Maltese beauty are allegedly set to get married in the Caribbean this weekend, per Wowowow.com. As the story goes, the entire Willis clan (Rumer, Scott, Tallulah) will be in attendance as well as Demi Moore and interloper Ashton Kutcher. Wowowow's staff thinks that Heming looks a little like Demi Moore but we see the resemblance as passing in that they both have the same number of limbs, eyes, ears and breasts. It should also be noted that they both have brown hair, nice bodies and sometimes smile.
Irrespective of any mild similarities between the two women, good work on Bruce Willis' part for holding out for a good one and not immediately marrying some Hollweird starlet because she was young, soft and available.
*Some reports conflict about Emma Heming's age; some say she was born in June of '78 (compared to Kutcher's February birthday of the same year) and others say she is 32. Either way, her name almost rhymes and she is quite nice-looking.
**We're reasonable sure that is too cool to get a revenge wedding and probably doesn't really care that his ex-wife signed on with the Punk'd impresario. "Zed's dead, baby."