3. Batterers actually blame their girlfriends for forcing them to be violent: There's a very good chance that Chris Brown, to this day, blames Rihanna for starting the argument that left him with "no choice" but to attack her. In his mind, she had no right to look at the text message from his manager, Tina Davis. A batterer will tell himself and his girlfriend that SHE provoked the violence by looking at another guy, wearing a skirt that's too short or not cleaning up the kitchen fast enough.
4: Guy guilt works. Women blame themselves for provoking their boyfriends: They get brainwashed into believing that they've done something wrong—"it was my fault for leading him to think I was cheating." Apparently Rihanna blames herself for inciting Chris and has been terribly worried about how the incident and criminal charges could affect his career.
5. When batterers apologize it's another form of taking control: Guys who beat up their girlfriends can be dramatically remorseful—crying, begging for forgiveness and promising to never become violent again. Flowers and gifts like Rihanna's reported "$50,000 forgiveness" bracelet, can be typical. The apologies can seem so genuine that a battered girlfriend gets completely seduced back into continuing the relationship.
6. Guys who batter are insecure and have poor impulse control: It's weird. They can seem completely normal and stable at times. At work, they can present themselves as completely nice guys. It's the fear of losing their girlfriend or being unable to control her, that leads to the intense outbursts of rage and violence.
7. When guys batter they feel entitled to do it: They believe they have the right to use whatever means necessary to take control of the situation. If police arrive, they aren't ashamed of their behavior—they feel justified, i.e., "you deserved it, you were behaving like a slut."