I see this as proof that this woman and the other gals who nodded in agreement are in deep denial over what constitutes healthy male sexuality.
Do I bring my stripper-induced sensory overload into the bedroom? You bet I do! My wife and I have known one another since college, and over the years we have achieved the perfect blend of familiarity and mystery by sharing fantasies without breaking trust. Though she doesn't bring a director and makeup trailer to bed, I'm sure that some nights after a Mad Men episode I am her Jon Hamm understudy. Sex is not only about love, but about play as well, and if she closes her eyes once in a while to pretend she is riding someone's see-saw, that's OK by me.
After years of monogamy and two kids, sexuality is not the stuff of romance novels. It's not that easy and never that clean. Some men fish off the company pier. Others, men who are committed to keeping their wedding vow, rely on chemical compounds or are blessed with an on/off switch that allows them to achieve white-hot arousal at the drop of a hat.
Those of us in the middle of the pack build steam throughout the day. Our fire is stoked by a variety of sights and sounds: curves traced in a tight sweater, visits to naughty web sites, lingering fantasies of a threesome that includes First Ladies, Vice Presidential hopefuls and someone from our Bible Study group, and yes, strip club memories. These are the croutons floating in the sexual stew you get served at night.
According to Viagra's website, more than half the men over the age of forty grapple with erectile dysfunction. If enjoying a healthy sex life at that age means getting help from a woman, a pole and pair of ridiculously high lucite heels, consider yourself lucky. Sexual arousal is a lot like a garment produced in a Kathie Lee Gifford sweatshop: you should enjoy it for what it is instead of obsessing over what went into creating it.