Forget Oprah! I want to hear from you
If one in four women is affected by domestic violence. That means some of you out there have first-hand experience with this issue. I want to hear your stories.
Statistics say that one in four women are victims of domestic violence, so that means a lot of you out there know what it's like. And I know we've had men on this site come out and say that they've been victims too, whether by their mothers or their wives. So I would love to hear your stories and opinions or just where you come from.
I'll start it off...
I have four sisters and one of them is in an abusive relationship. She won't leave. I remember a few years ago it escalated and my fmaily tried to get her out. She left for a week and then went back. She doesn't talk about it. She won't say anything beyond that he is a great guy and they are happy. She is so good at hiding it. But she is different. She's not the girl I grew up with. Everything I know about her is gone. And its hard for her because I can't say one nice thing about her husband...so she doesn't like to talk to me about him at all. I try to be her friend and sister and know that I am there for her and will do anything for her. But I don't want to support him at all. And I want her to know I am not a part of this charade...it's tough.
Discussion
I was in an abusive relationship when I was only 16. I was so repressed by my strict parents that when a good looking 22 year old started talking to me, I soaked it up like a sponge. I dated him behind my parents back for a year until I finally left my parents house when they found out about him.
The abuse began when we started living together. It started off as jealousy, then mistrust followed. Little did I know he was running around behind my back which caused him to be insecure with me. This man put me through the worst hell I ever have been though in my life. (I am 36 now) He actually would hold my cat up in front of my face and threaten to snap its neck if I didn't tell him who I was cheating on him with! He was BEYOND PSYCHO.
Anyway, so the day I got the courage to leave him finally was when he tried to strangle me to death. The only reason I survived was because I was screaming out the bedroom window and the neighbors called the cops.
Some insight: We stay with the people who abuse us for a few reasons.
They usually threaten us with death or violence to our family and friends if we try to leave them.
Our self esteem is so low from the abuse that we don't have the courage or will to leave.
In some sick cases, we feel like we deserve the abuse and actually believe the lies they tell us when they are abusing us, like, "See what you made me did? Why do you have to act like that knowing I will get so angry?"
I finally left and had to move far away because he would drive by my house screaming up at my windows all the time. This went on for YEARS after I left him! Although I would NEVER condone this type of relationship, I have to say, if it weren't for this bastard abusing me, I would not be the "Take no sh*t from any man" kind of girl I am today.
The whole idea of domestic violence flummoxes me . . . I havent ever gotten into a relationship to abuse someone (or be abused by them). The idea that in a moment of anger or frustration you DECIDE to hurt the one person you love by attacking them just to gain control over them is SO WRONG. The violence/abuse kinda ruins any loving feelings that were there.
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http://www.yourtango.com/20086950/when-a-woman-hits-a-man#comment-53399
Thanks Neesieg for sharing that with us.
