Plucky Ginnifer Goodwin goes on a date with a schlub, then gets bummed when he never calls. In the movie, empowering girl talk with Jennifers Aniston and Connelly helps her through. In the real-life version, Ginnifer gets hammered, makes out with random strangers then pukes up Cuervo shots as Aniston holds back her hair.
In the movie, Ginnifer phone stalks a playboy bartender to get his he’s-just-not-that-into-you-style advice. Despite his commitment issues, the bartender wants her in the end. In our version, he writes off Ginnifer as a needy wacko, like any sane person would do. Otherwise, he tries to sleep with her, like any playboy bartender would do, thus spending the rest of the film driving her deeper into an abyss of confusion and despair but certainly not falling in love with her because she’s his “exception.” Puh-leeze.
Instead of “not making a scene” at Home Depot after discovering her husband’s been schtupping Scarlett Johansson, real-life Jennifer Connelly concusses the guy by chucking a bucket of paint at his head. As punishment for their infidelity, Bradley Cooper, the actor who plays the adulterer, has to go back to working television, while Scarlett Johansson has to go back to the nose she had in Ghost World.