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Please Please -do not try to fix this young ladies problems-- and if its best for her not to be around her family-- Then DO NOT force her to do so. I use to have a VERY strained relationship with my family until i realized they do not have my best interest at heart -- She needs to live her life for HER -- not her rich family-- so if that means its just a hi and bye situation--than so be it-- Things like this can make people loose there sanity-- Seriously! |
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Hi! |
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Let go of having your reconcile with her family. You may not know how bad they are. From some people, breaking away from family is the better thing to do. If you feel that she is dragging you down, you need to figure out some way to get help, though. Maybe she needs a counselor. Maybe you can introduce her to your friends. |
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OH wow you have a problem..You cant fix her problems with her family..she has to do that and only if she wants too. She is responsible for her own actions as are you for yours, If you cant handle being what she needs then you need to recuse yourself from her before she becomes totally dependant on you for everthing.If her family is so bad to her why does she subject herself to that treatment she is 26 she needs to find a place of her own and learn what kind of person she can be for herself not let their actions dictate her reactions. |
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It's good that your there (and as cliche as this sounds) to be her crying shoulder. I know what it feels like to not get along with parents or family in general but it hasn't gotten quite to that extent. |
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Well, here is the thing. It's clear that this girl has some issues she needs to deal with. But you can't make her talk to her parents. In fact, forcing her to reconcile with them will probably make her hear that you think the problems are her fault and I say this as a girl who has problems with her family and would rather spend time with my in laws. But I think, beyond loving her and encouraging her to get therapy, there is nothing you can make her do. And nothing you should make her do. The only thing you can do is make sure you stay emotionally healthy. Don't let what she does affect your mood so much. By her seeing you healthy and making good friendships, it might make her see what she is missing out on. Or it might not. Sometimes people change, and sometimes they don't. But you have to decide if you can put up with her like this even if she never changes. If the answer is no, then you shouldn't be in that relationship. It's not healthy to stay with someone hoping that they change. You have to be able to accept and love who she is even if nothing ever changes and if you can't do that, then staying is unfair to her and unfair to yourself. But if she does change she has to do it for herself. |
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Lyz, I could not have said it better myself. You have to be a whole person to give someone a true LOVE. All people have some sort of issues in Life that may cause problem's, your right about finding out how they will get along with or without change. But I also think he has to not try to change himself for her and let her work out her own problem's with her family. Family issues away's has two side's to the story. And they only know what the truth is. I say stay strong and give what you can and take care of yourself first. Then go on and see what happen's. If they can get to a healty place great , if not go on and learn from it. |
Hi Guys,
I have been in a relationship for over 6 months and I love this girl. She is an amazing girl whom is fun to be with and we have seen each other almost every other day during this time. Taken a vacation together and she also loves me back as much I do.
Ever since we dated I had this vibe that something was wrong with her in terms of life and recently she has been open to me and has told me her issues but they are a bit too hard to tackle by myself so I require your assistance.
Her relation with her folks is very bad, meaning to is concluded to a Hi and Bye manner. It is from both sides and it is really eating her up. Her family is rich however very cheap and all her folks thing about is money. She had a rough childhood as her dad's mom was super mean to her and made her suffer by paying attention to her sister rather than her.
This is to a point that she rather be with me and my family than to be even home! Don't get me wrong but I would like her to spend time with her folks. Every time that they call she gets into an argument and cries and either her or them hang up on each other. I can't understand what she says but after she cries but not too hard just tears fall!
I have tried to make her get back to them by trying to hug or start a talk with them but she says home is just a place to sleep and recently they stopped even making food for her!
How can I change anything here? I told her to study harder and quit her job as she worked 4 days and really never studied so that is a good point but maybe not enough in their view. She is 26 and still in university since she did collage and maybe her folks are pissed about paying for school?
To add to the whole thing she really has no close friends and if she does they always use her for rides and stuff like that which really pisses me off! I feel bad for her but I seem to be helpless as I am still with my folks and don't want to move out yet since I want to save.
I feel like and been told I am the only thing she has in this world but I think it is not right to be that person as a normal human needs more than one person to have and to love like parents.
Due to all of this she is down and easily gets upset! It is really taking time from me since I have to talk to her and help her each time to cheer up but it is to a point I am also going down with her and I need a solution.
Please share your views with me.
Thanks in advance,
A