Is It OK For My Guy To Watch Adult Films?
Are XXX videos coming between you and your man?
The LoveFeed is here to help with you man's, and perhaps your own, love of porn. What's healthy? What's going too far? LoveFeed is YourTango's daily round-up of love, sex and relationship news and trends.
Discussion
Ok, put your spin on this one... I am a female and enjoy looking at porn mind you not daily but on days off, currently my bf and I haven't had many off together conflicting schedules and all. On his days off he watches images and videos all day long...d'l's movies and hides activity from me. I enjoy being open, honest and want to explore, He is non emotional in many ways, does not tell me what he wants or say anything to make me feel that certain way (special) only in bed (non verbally) I have felt ackward, undesireable and unloved at many times over the years, we are in our early 30's not ancient. Me personally I feel like a teenager..when it comes to bedroom activities. I just don't understand when I've calmly tried discussing sharing more, speaking about exploring things, he gets, uncomfortable..closed-off, and tells me I am insecure that he is a guy and it is natural, Um Natural to ignore your gf and fore-go real sex and be intimate. which excuse this but Hello if a woman is made to feel HOT! ,,she will Rock you're World.
well it depends if the girl doesnt want sex, ofcourse the guy would masturbate...
but if the girl and the guy had sex, but the girl right now is not in the mood...
its okay to masturbate... and I think girls should understand that men must release their "white blood" or c*m once in a while...
As long as it's with me! I think if you both are into it and maybe take turns choosing the porn, it can be great. But if only 1 of you is watching porn, excluding their partner, it's wrong....it can make your parnter feel alone and hurt. Yes men think about porn abit differently, but men also have to remember that their woman can get hurt and emotional and try to understand them.
I'm having kind of the same problem, except I'm the one watching porn and he's the one who wasn't. Girls, don't mind it if you man watches porn unless it gets 24/7, because that's simply creepy. Imagine yourself in your boyfriend's place and you'd understand how he feels. It's rather addicting, so it's a bit complicated.
Porn is really disgusting. I was watching a DVD my brother had and it was just so gross. I don't see how men become addicted to that filth.
It all depends on the person.. I enjoy watching porn with my man..it can really make things interesting by doing role play or acting out what you see.. however if your not getting the real thing because of the porn it is taking it too far.. start without him... he will eventually join or you might need to just find someone who wants to do it instead of watching someone else do it.
First of all-"What amount is considered normal"? I recall reading an article where Christie Brinkley was listing among her complaints about her(now)Ex--"He sit's and watches porn all day". Ewwww. That would definitely not be considered normal. What kind of woman would find anyone that did that 'attractive'. For that matter, what kind of man could have any self esteem knowing his lover observed him sitting away in his corner watching porn all the time. I heard someone else mention that 'amateur' video was most stimulating. I've seen a few comercial porno movies-the novelty wears off real quick. After a while they do seem extremely vulgar-egotistical. Ron Jeremy? PLEASE! There's nothing erotic about that. Yes, I do find some internet 'amateur' home clips stimulating. My lover and I have also enjoyed a few 'educational' sex video's. Have even learned a few new tricks. OK, LOTS of new tricks! Some things we probably wouldn't have tried without seeing them done. So, I suppose if it enhances your sex with your partner or stimulates you to have better sex with your partner then it's all well and good. If it becomes something that takes the place of regular sex---then I think that is not good. Even if you don't have a regular sex partner-satisfying yourself with porn would take away the incentive for you to meet someone of the opposit sex. I have on occasion taken a subscription to Playboy or Penthouse for a year. My wife said she appreciated how 'stimulated' I would be when a new issue had arrived. We usually both browsed through the magazine and read some of the articles and letters. At the same time I never wanted her to feel that I needed to look at the pictures before I could get worked up enough to have sex with her. As with all things-moderation seems to be the key. Too much exposure to such things I think causes desensitization. Most of the time the rare sex scene in a Hollywood movie would provide more than enough stimulation for a night of erotic adventure between the two of us. Men are more 'visual' creatures. Our own naked bodies with the lights turned low is wonderful porn.
very real and reasonable comments by "tinque" and "kataroo" . "cal" may have a point if the guy is "consumed " by porn but i don't see that in the question. oh yes i watch it sometimes at the alternate life style club i go to with a woman. we take out of it what arouses us and discard the fake 1/2 +hr steady oral or penetration scenes, we like more varity than that. not that our sex can't go for hrs but varity is the spice of life and certainly in sex. sorry for digressing.
I have conflicting feelings about porn. I have come to like some of it, no pun intended, especially clips featuring amateurs in what at least seems like real situations, yet sometimes I feel a bit like it's wrong. We both look at it, my man and I, sometimes together, sometimes separately. We both dislike the movies, fake all around, but there is much online, much of this awful too, yet much is not, using real people with real responses. Sometimes though I feel insecure about it. It's sometimes hard for me not to feel "not enough" even though we have a fantastic and abundant sex life. Thoughts anyone about releasing the residual feelings of insecurity?
tinque
The way I see it, in a long and healthy and respectful relationship, there should be room to try all sorts of things together as a couple, including porn. As for watching it on one's own, I'm fine with that too, but most of it is so terrible it doesn't turn me on.
I think watching porn with your man is totally acceptable and can be fun, as long as you are both open to it. And making a game of it, or acting out fantasies based on it can be awesome.
I think that we all need to remember that sex is natural, normal and perfectly ok for consenting adults.
Now, I understand that too much of anything can be problematic, but adding a little porn in on occasion works well for me.
ladies if you are feeling that him watching porn is starting to bother you start watching man on man im sure his habits will decrees if not go away XD
It ruins relationships. And that's all I'll say about that without having some porn douche wanting to flame the hell out of this comment.
No, it's not ok. Proverbs chapter 4, looking at porn is placing something in front of you that isn't healthy or without sin. :S
porn is not so bad if you don't overdo it... in fact, porn is a great way for couples to learn new techniques in bed... afterall, where are you going to learn new tricks? your brother/sister? friends? a book? i don't think so...
girls, watch porn with your boyfriends... that way you'll learn what styles he likes and he'll know what your fantasies are...
You CAN infact learn new tricks from books and friends (and a sibling, if you're quite open with them) and simply TALKING to each other will go a long way if you want to find out their fantasies! Watch porn with your boyfriend and you're likely to get jealous--and no wonder! It's another girl! She may not be physically in the room, but it's still cheating. And like someone else said earlier, who wants a trashy porn star teaching them when they could experiment and figure it out on their own?
i think so too!. when my boyfriend can have sex with me, why does he have to watch a porn? in a porn he can't have real sex, he's just watching it, so i think, when a man has a girlfriend, he should have sex with her, before he even thinks about watching a porn.yes so i think it's cheating too
Sorry, that is ridiculous advice. I refuse to learn from porn stars (nasty role models) and act trashy fulfilling so called "fantasies." And no there is NO such thing as classy porn.
As for learning new tricks...you can always learn with each other...it's the best way. Talk about no imagination!
lol.. once a day is normal? Do i get bonus marks if i look twice a day sometimes?
Justme252009 why is it not ok? i think a little of everything is just fine, but overdoing it show's you have a problem.
well I suppose if you're screwing him twice a day then he should have no reliance on porn. (Or however many times he jacks off per day) Everyone does it, and it's very normal. So I don't see why it isn't okay, maybe you would like to enlighten me?
