Here's a question: Why was Chris Noth's character in "Sex And the City" nicknamed "Mr. Big" when it's clear it should have been "Mr. Old Man Fatty"?
Also, I want to know which came first: Carrie and the girls giving the men they were dating petty, offensive little nicknames or actual real world women assigning their men these kinds of faux clever monikers.
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You ladies nickname us according to our jobs, our sexual proclivities, or some flaw in our character, as if the act of nicknaming is some preemptive, passive-aggressive revenge tactic. It should be noted that a nickname is the polar opposite of a pet name; essentially, one is accentuating the negative, the other the positive. For instance, I had a chick friend who dated a dude whom she nicknamed "Nasty Ass." (We were BFFs, and she talked to me like I was vagina-enabled; little did she know I was gathering intelligence.) Anyway, she kept dating him, and wouldn't you know, love unexpectedly spread, like Ebola. Eventually, her pet name for him was a loving "Stinky." True story.
I have been nicknamed, in the past. I've been christened "The Artful Dodger," "Texty McNoCall," and "Penisaurus Rex." OK, maybe not the last one. And those are the nicknames I know about. And I'm sure there are worse ones out there. It hurts, it burns, I'm cold and lonely. Did I deserve some of those nicknames? Sure. Absolutely. There has to be some virtue in taking responsibility for having been a douche.
Women objectify men when they nickname them. Nicknaming a man reduces him to a character that women use in their narratives where they are eternally victimized by dudes who fail to live up to their superficial, fantasy definition of romantic fulfillment. Let me make a couple of points, because I can feel the heat of dozens of she-brains boiling.
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