Guys Hate The Nicknames Used Among Women

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men nicknames
Are the nicknames you use when talking about your man cute or mean?

Here's a question: Why was Chris Noth's character in "Sex And the City" nicknamed "Mr. Big" when it's clear it should have been "Mr. Old Man Fatty"?

Also, I want to know which came first: Carrie and the girls giving the men they were dating petty, offensive little nicknames or actual real world women assigning their men these kinds of faux clever monikers.

You ladies nickname us according to our jobs, our sexual proclivities, or some flaw in our character, as if the act of nicknaming is some preemptive, passive-aggressive revenge tactic. It should be noted that a nickname is the polar opposite of a pet name; essentially, one is accentuating the negative, the other the positive. For instance, I had a chick friend who dated a dude whom she nicknamed "Nasty Ass." (We were BFFs, and she talked to me like I was vagina-enabled; little did she know I was gathering intelligence.) Anyway, she kept dating him, and wouldn't you know, love unexpectedly spread, like Ebola. Eventually, her pet name for him was a loving "Stinky." True story.

I have been nicknamed, in the past. I've been christened "The Artful Dodger," "Texty McNoCall," and "Penisaurus Rex." OK, maybe not the last one. And those are the nicknames I know about. And I'm sure there are worse ones out there. It hurts, it burns, I'm cold and lonely. Did I deserve some of those nicknames? Sure. Absolutely. There has to be some virtue in taking responsibility for having been a douche.

Women objectify men when they nickname them. Nicknaming a man reduces him to a character that women use in their narratives where they are eternally victimized by dudes who fail to live up to their superficial, fantasy definition of romantic fulfillment. Let me make a couple of points, because I can feel the heat of dozens of she-brains boiling.

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