Margaret Ruth wants us to assume everyone is giving us their best. Even if they disappoint us. Hm.
Margaret Ruth is some psychic/radio VJ who hosts a show called Radio From Hell on X96 an alternative radio station out of Utah. She's also published a bunch of books titled Margaret Ruth's Palmistry Workbook, Margaret Ruth's Tarot Class and the upcoming book Meta-Relationships: The Very Simple Psychic Truths of Real People Connections (Not Your Parents' Relationship Manual!).
Anyway, Margaret Ruth basically tells us to assume that every person we encounter is giving us their best for that time and moment.
"It is fairly simple," she writes. "Now, and tomorrow, and always, assume that the person you are relating with is doing the best she can for that time and that situation. No matter what others are saying or doing, assume "he is giving me his best available at this moment," and you will start feeling better about relationships and other people instantly."
Not to mention it adds a seared DOORMAT stamp to your forehead.
But, yes, you read that correctly. The grouchy cashier at CVS who barks that we're swiping our card the wrong way is just having a bad day. Those eye rolls and muttered curse words is the best he/she can do right now. The same goes for the pushy guy at the bar who informs you how "not hot" you are when you won't give him your number. He's just giving his best.
As is your best friend who knows how to push your buttons and does so, continuously, whenever the two of you are out in public. Another A+ effort.
While we don't buy that everyone is giving their best, where we do see eye to eye with Margaret is when she doles out advice on why we should think this way.
"Labeling other people's reactions to you as "good to me" or "bad to me" allows you to take everything someone does personally," she writes. "You could get trapped in carrying other people's stuff around with you, in the name of a personal affront."
Now this is true. Definitely. It's best to not allow other people to crack your own personal happy bubble but when is enough enough? Rather than explain away the behavior, let's talk about eliminating these stinky garbage bags from our lives.
"In cultivating an understanding that most of the time, most people are giving you the best available, you can start looking at which relationships are worth maintaining," she writes. "What I mean here is, if you interpreting the ongoing relationship correctly, you are more likely to correctly pick those connections that are most fulfilling and satisfying."
While we may not be able to get rid of the inevitable snappy seatmates on the subway, or series of rude passerbys we'll meet day after day, this advice is indispensable when it comes dating.
If you have to consitently make excuses for his (or her) subpar behavior, realize the best they can give just ain't good enough—and get ready for some early spring cleaning.