Everytime we read Em and Lo's Wise Guys, where the sex columnists ask an open-ended question and grill three men for an answer, we learn a little something new about our phallic friends. Sometimes our reaction is just a cute, "oh, men! They'll never change!" and other times we vomit in our mouths a bit.

Of course, it isn't as if we need a column to recoil in disgust/shock/amusement—a drunken bar conversations about any of these topics would be just as telling—but there's something extra poignant about seeing it in print.

Let's take last week's million dollar question: "If guys had to choose between only intercourse or only blowjobs for the rest of their life, which do you think most guys would choose?”

Hm.

Intercourse, right? Wouldn't men rather simultaneously give themselves and their partner pleasure? Why is this even a question? Blow jobs (at least for us) are so detached. While we don't dislike giving them, wouldn't a guy rather get off to us getting off?

"I think most guys would choose blowjobs, but they really should be choosing intercourse." says single, straight guy Chris. "BJs are the best thing to happen to sex since sliced bread...it’s like taking your car in for an oil change and getting a free car wash... Most men don’t get as many blowjobs in their daily routine as they’d like, so the prospect of guaranteed hummers for life is a dream come true."

Married guy Fred even said the question is a toss-up: "I think most guys would struggle with this one, but then decide that intercourse would be the better choice... There are more variations of intercourse, for one thing.  There’s more skin contact which is always nice. Giving her pleasure at the same time is a big turn on."

There we go! That's what we thought and then token gay man Terence adds in:

"Intercourse is the winner—by a technicality. Maybe it's just me, but I’m guaranteed a climax with intercourse, whereas blowjobs end happily about half the time."

Well, color us naive. Blow jobs gave sex a run for its money! We never knew blow jobs were such a beloved, sacred act—similar to Christmas morning, winning the lottery or a free out of work day card. Thank you Em and Lo.