On top of this, he is totally lazy. I bust my ass around our home to keep it clean and take care of him and my son, on top of working full time. He sits on his ass in front of the TV or his computer while I am working and does nothing. If he does anything at all, it is because I have asked him to. And ususally when I ask him to do something, he says he will do it and it doesn't happen for weeks. That drives me crazy and it is a bad example for my son. Don't get me wrong, he has a job too. But he rarely lifts a finger around our home. We both contribute financially to our family. There are no complaints there at all.
I love to be with him, be close to him, snuggle with him, make love to him. He makes me laugh all the time. I feel really good when I am with him. He is so smart and caring and loving, not to mention so damn sexy. I love to talk to him because he has such great insight into alot of things. His personality is engaging and makes you want to be around him. So when I started to feel myself pull away from him and started to feel my emotional connection to him change, I started thinking, WTF! I have to take responsibility for that part of it. I have talked to him about things but there was no change and I just did nothing.
When I think back to what made me fall in love with him, I realize that those things he used to do that melted my heart are almost non-existent. He would call me out of the blue just to say I Love You. He would write me love letters and poems. He would talk to me one on one and tried very hard to get to know me and learned all the secrets about me that no one else knew. That is really why this is so difficult for me now. I don't know. It feels like the proverbial bait and switch. And I don't like to be played. So I am feeling so angry, hurt, betrayed, sad and hopeless right now. I will NOT beg for him to propose to me and I am not desperate. I do not want to be seen by him, or anyone else for that matter, in that light.
So, I guess the next step for me is to decide what to do. Any suggestions?