A Valentine’s Wish…Er, Demand

If you believe chick flicks, I’m supposed to loathe being single on Valentine’s Day.  In chick flick world, I’d just lock myself in my bedroom singing Alanis Morissette songs off-key and slamming back pints of Häagen-Dazs.   

True, all the red roses and candy boxes can make single gals wistful around V-Day, and unfortunately the industry doesn’t do much to make us feel less crappy.  But this year, I’ve got an ace up my sleeve.  I’ve got The Secret. 

Initially skeptical, I decided to give the idea a whirl after my friend Paula got a check in the mail for $368 at a time when she owed a creditor…$368.  Paula attributed her success to the Law of Attraction.  

More from YourTango: Third Wheeling It: Which Type Of Unwanted Party Are You?

The rules are simple: Ask, nay, demand from the universe what you want and think relentlessly positive thoughts to manifest your orders.  Shoot high, the book insists, nothing is out of reach.  I figure my chances are even better if I put my demands in writing, so here goes. 

Dear Universe,  

I command you to make the following happen on Valentine’s Day 2009: 

More from YourTango: Why He's Not Calling You His Girlfriend

George Clooney picks me up around eight.  He takes me to one of those restaurants where you can buy a $40,000 bottle of champagne, just so I can see how the other half lives.  During dinner, George is bowled over by my dazzling wit as we talk film, culture and politics.  As I explain my views on world cinema and ending global poverty, he stares longingly into my eyes then whispers, “from whence have you come, goddess?  Never have I felt so connected to another person.  We two are one.”  

After dinner, George and I go to a