I Need A Man's Help! Is That Sexist?
Men fix cars, figure out credit card bills and hook up the TV. Is it sexist to want a guy for that?
When I was in college I bought my first car. The first car I actually owned was a hand-me-down from my parents (a 1988 Nissan Stanza to be exact, not exactly a pimp ride), but it’s life ended my senior year and I needed a replacement. At the time I was in a bit of an extended fight with my dad and we weren’t speaking at all. So when it came time to buy my car, I had to rely on my limited knowledge of automobiles in order to get the best deal on a used car that would see me through graduation. Normally this was a task that I would have heaped on my dad's shoulders; after all, Dads are the people you turn to in times of vehicular crisis. Mine wasn’t there, so I went at alone. What did I end up with? A 1993 Volkswagon Jetta. With 250,000 miles already on it. But it was teal! And the guy who sold it to me was 18 and tan!
Needless to say, it was one of the more traditionally "girly" decisions of my life and I paid for it. The car had major clutch problems within months and just BARELY made it through the year. When it came to buying a car, I needed a man’s help. As sexist and as backwards as that may sound, I need one now too.
In a similar story, when I first started dating my ex, I was making a tiny salary, living in an even tinier apartment, and had a credit card bill bigger than both. Then I found out that I had a years long outstanding balance on a Victoria's Secret card I had opened in college. I probably bought one bra with it, but since the interest had grown to the point where I owed a couple hundred dollars—and they were threatening to bring in a collection agency. These were doing my pre-panic attack medication days, so I was a blubbery, stressed out mess. I got a call from my then new boyfriend, now ex-fiance, told him my sob story and he offered to help.
Find out what happens next at The Frisky.
Discussion
I am surprised by this. I'm a woman and I do most of the things the author is talking about - buy a car, negotiate with moving companies, find a place to live, change light bulbs (you can use a step stool). I'm married to a guy and most of the the time I'm doing these things for him. I get his opinion on things, but he usually doesn't know more than I do about any of this.
The funny thing is, I'm probably much less independent than the single author of this article. I certainly need my husband. I have weak spots where I rely on him, and some of them are sexist. So I'm surprised that an independent young woman is turning to guys to handle things that I take care of.
Yeah I do most of this stuff too and I'm married. In fact, most the married women I know do these things. I think the author has this idea that life with men is this perfect place where they do things for you. Sorry, you're in for a rude awakening.
I grew up in the 70's, when the lines between men and women's roles really began to merge and become undefined. On one hand having a mother who lived the traditional feminine role, but also being taught the feminist ways by society. I became one of those women that hated for a man to pull out her chair, or open a door for her when they were together.
As I get older, I have found that I have really forgotten what it is to be a woman, and enjoy being what I am, and taking pride in that. So I have found myself relearning, or maybe learning for the first time, what it is to be feminine, and embracing that. And you know what, it's nice. It feels right.
I don't always need a man's help, but I sure do want it.
