Verne Troyer Is Doing Just Fine, Thanks

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verne troyer
The Austin Powers star is not involved with a broad named Chanelle Hayes, at all.

EDITOR'S NOTE:  It's come to our attention that the Mike Myers' favorite little person, Verne Troyer, is not involved in any substantial way with a woman best described as a "reality show contestant," "Victoria Beckham impersonator," and "least talented person in Britain, based on a survey of Domino's Pizza customers."

The Daily Star (one of Britain's tabloid bastions of getting-it-wrong-ery and topless photos) published a report that Verne Troyer was down (like 4 flat tyres, sure) with Chanelle Hayes, a contestant on Celebrity Big Brother UK.

What we know about Chanelle Hayes; she is a self-styled recording artist, perfume entrepreneur, and "model" who is regularly featured naked on the cover of British lad magazines, wrestling other women who also happen to be naked.

What we know about Celebrity Big Brother UK; it makes the American Big Brother look like Fellini and Mark Burnett teamed up to make the greatest and deepest piece of reality television in history. Ricky Gervais spoofed this in his last episode of Extras, as his character (who's catch phrase was, "Are you 'avin' a laugh?") felt Celeb Big Bro was too crude for him. And according to 2 Snaps, the class act program had a challenge that involved cajoling VT into dressing up in a wee bear costume.

What we know about VT; he's an actor who needs to pay the bills. He's had some personal issues and probably has more than a few people (men and women alike) trying to exploit his fame for their personal gain. Ideally, he'll put his past problems behind him and meet someone whose goal is not to use him and abuse him.

Apologies to our readers and Verne Troyer's crew for buying into this unsubstantiated trope from the Daily Star. Obviously, we aim to not make these mistakes but are willing to own up to and retract when we do.

Photos: Splash

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