| forums > Breakups & Divorce |
| What to do, what to do????????? |
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We will never stop learning Leeanne; one of lifes little quirks and the lesson to be learnt here is simple. |
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We will never stop learning Leeanne; one of lifes little quirks and the lesson to be learnt here is simple. |
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Oh Leeann. Things will always get worse before they get better. I realize that your son means the world to you and he should. However, he cannot keep the two of you together. Apparently, the father of the child is very immature (and he will lose out in the end.) you are not. I have lived the life you are living now, and my 34 year old daughter is going through a similiar situation. There is a reason for everything, you just have to figue that out for yourself. No-one can help you with your decision, it is only yours to make. However, I will add this. You and your sons happiness is YOUR decision...make it go. One day, you will find true happiness for you and your son and just shake your head as to what you are going through right now. However, if you want my opinion...let the loser go and be happy...don't look back. Just get child support until your son finishes college and medical insurance from the loser. Good luck. |
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Gosh .. i didnt realize how many people are going through a similar situation as i am-- Listen if you are going to move on do it now-- i am married and ive been with the man for some timeb(10 years)-- going through very similar things even though he is older than ur guy--- we also have a son who is 5--- and right now i know im mostly staying for him because i dont want to put him through anything-- your son is still very young and he probably wont feel the affects of the moving in and out that has happened but it would be best if that does not continue-- and Please also consider your Happyness-- he cannot have it both ways--- donot do what i did, because my husband still lives like he's single-- and has the comfort of having me and our son there when he is ready--- all the best |
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well im in a similar situation. I met jesse years ago, and he basically will tell you he knew we would cross paths again and we did. We dated fr a couple more months and then boom we were married. And right now I am looking at moving out. I do not have the child issue, and I feel for you that you have to think about baby as well as everything you are going through. But I think with Jesse the thing that broke me was the lying because it was only like 2 weeks ago and ever since that point it seems like everything he does is just like something else to annoyme. I have gotten the i love you please dont go speech. I mean we have only been married for 5 months but for most of it i have been carrying us while he did absolutely nothing to even try to help and then when i got him about he elaborated a whole day of lies to cover his ass when i found out he wasnt out looking for work. And somewhere in my head if you can make a story like that and lie to e without hesitation a year from it will only get worse. |
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Well Leeann, how are things going since your last post? Relationships are hard enough and then when a child enters things get all turned upside down. Just remember that your child is an extension of you and separate from your 'personal turmoils' in romance. You will be bound to your ex forever since you now have a child together. As a single parent (my son is now 29yrs old) I learned the hard way to allow my son to make his own choices about Dad, etc. Neither parent should bad-mouthed each other no matter the circumstances. It may seem the best way for revenge and make you feel good, but trust me, it will come back and bite you in the ass!! Wish you the best of luck with it all!!!-joannie |
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You know breaking up is hard because of the love you have for someone, yes he is 25 you are 30, five years different in age, not much. If you strongly feel that you can no longer have a relationship with him, then by all means move on. |
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@Mango: Totally agree. This man is making you do a lot of work for a lot of heartache. Why are you putting yourself and your son in this situation? Move on, and don't look back. Life is finite, and we only get to live it once (that we can remember, anyway -- if you believe in reincarnation). Make choices that you know you can live with in the long-run. Think about what you'd say as a mother to your grown son: having to explain to him what behaviour you had and why you did it. What would you be able to explain, and what would you be too embarrassed to deal with? Then cut out the embarrassing/regretful behaviour in the present, and move on. |
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IM SORRY YOU CANNOT EXPECT A 25 YEAR OLD BOY TO GROW UP. SOUNDS LIKE A SPERM DONOR TO ME. HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS CYCLE. YOU HAVE A BABY TO CONSIDER . LET HIM GO. |
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If he really loves you & the baby, he'll come back .. and that you can't tell for sure .. Anyways, guys his age always feel that they still have lives to live, and you have to admit your mistake doing it with a child to bring another one to this world and taking the responsibility of both of them. 2 yers ago, he was only 23 years old .. a kido .. What were you thinking ! ! ! Of course he is going to change. You participated in this problem .. face it. Sorry if you didn't like what I say but this is how I see it. regards, |
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While he may be the father of your child, this man sounds like he is toxic. You have tried to make it work and he has made you miserable, violated your trust and treated you with disrespect. Is this the example of a man you want for your son? I hope not. I say, tell him to pay out child support and then have nothing more to do with him. Then spend time with your son and working on repairing your broken sense of self worth. |
I've recently become single, as of Monday, with my ex of almost 2 years. We have a seven month old baby boy, absolutely gorgeous little angel, together which makes this whole situation very hard. We met in 2007 and starting dating immediately. A week into our relationship he told me that he had a girlfriend in the States who he was trying to breakup with so he could be with me. I felt betrayed and lied to so starting not trusting him. She became an issue in our relationship and we used to fight about it all the time. A few months, +- 3 months of been together I fell pregnant, which put a huge damper on things and we starting arguing more and more. He starting lying to me and hiding things from me and became a totally b**ch towards him cause I never trusted him and felt regret for been so stupid about everything. We have in the last few months broken up, moved out, got back together and moved back in about 6 times which isn't fair on either of us especially my little boy which is unsettling for him. We decided the beginning of the year to seek professional help, let go of the past and try and fix our relationship to what it should be. Things were going really well, the fighting stopped, we started to communicate again and things in general just got better but that all went up in smoke yesterday morning. He woke up in a terrible mood and I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing but I could see that something was bugging him. I went to work and called him to see if he was okey. I got the its not you its me speech and eventually told me that he loves me but doesn't think he is in love with me and that he doesn't know if we could get back the love we shared, despite all the fighting, we really did love each other. I told him that I am not going through this again with him, he told me this same line a few times before, and so I ended things. I moved out that same night and have since decided to move on. I know I am not the problem as the issues I used to have with him I dropped and put in 150% into making things right. I think the problem is that I am 30 this year and ready to settle down and he is only 25 and still wants to have the freedom to do what he wants but have his son and me there for the quiet times. I'm sorry but I think my son and myself are worth more then that and its all or nothing. Its really hard walking away from someone you love and share a baby with. What to do, what to do ????????????