Hey, remember that guy you slept with a while back who always only had a $5 bill and no wallet when the check came? What about that winner who thought condoms were just theoretical devices only used by actors on television?
Or how about the 35-year-old who yapped incessantly about his "hot crib in the city" but actually still lived with his parents?
Well, lucky for all of us who can relate, it's time for our big technological, Internet revenge! Muaaah!
While our friends will gladly pour us an extra glass of Merlot with a sympathetic nod and an ubiquitous "Oh, I'm so sorry!" there's just something delightfully satisfying about the website "I bang the worst dudes (Sorry, Mom)."
Sort of like a cattle call for horrible sexual experiences, scorned women post pictures of said men with a protective black bar across their eyes, and a little description outing their shabby behavior.
Some of our favorite examples: "This guy lovingly referred to his shotgun as his “boomstick,” probably because his real stick had no BOOM. Zing!"
"Each time I came over to this guy’s house I’d have to crawl through his window so his roommates wouldn’t know. Once he got off he’d almost always put his clothes back on and kick me out. One time, he even went so far as to high five me when he came. Wow."
High fiving after an orgasm? (*cackle*) We thought we'd heard and done it all!
This is like group therapy for all of us who seem to think we're the only ones who attract men with zero social skills and bad hygiene. "I bang the worst dudes" is here to tell you: "No, hon. You aren't. We're all in this together."
Some of you more tender-hearted may think there's something inherently mean-spirited about a website poking fun at a man's anatomical and emotional shortcomings.
"Maybe he had a rough childhood," they'll say. Or "he's clearly an alcoholic and it's a disease," or "you can't hate on what his momma gave him—there are no extenders and implants for that body part" (if you catch our drift).
And while all this is true, IBTWD does a good job of a.) disguising their faces and b.) if you're going to refer to your nether regions as "meatballs" and push down your lady friend's head telling her to "make some!" then yeah, maybe you need to see this.
Thank us later.