You know you might be a candidate for Dating A Banker Anonymous if you've suffered any of the following:
a. Your Bergdorf's allowance has been halved.
b. Bottle service has all but disappeared from your life.
c. You depend on your boyfriend for the above indulgences.
Such is the premise of the support group and blog that two ex-girlfriends of Wall Street types started after the market—and then their relationships—plunged. When they noticed other women complaining about the enhanced thriftiness, neediness and emotional instability of their banker boyfriends, they decided the girlfriends (dare we call them gold diggers?) needed some newfound support of their own. At informal meetings over cocktails, groups of twentysomething women gather to lament their downtrodden or unemployed I-banking men.
Or, are they gathering to lament themselves?
"We do make light of everything on the blog and it's very tongue in cheek," one of the NYC-based 27-year-old founders told the Times. "But it all stems out of really serious and heartfelt situations."
DABA does hit on some actual relationship plight that job stress creates: increased fighting, money woes, diminished sex life. And, in some ways, the declared "free from the scrutiny of feminists" group almost seems nouveau feminist in their thinking: I have the right to dump my alpha-male boyfriend if he's no longer the powerful, gift-bearing beast I started dating. After all, we know the hollow truth that pretty people get free things. (Natalie Dylan—the young woman who put her virginity up for auction to prove it was hers to value and profit from, and not a man's to make precious or "take"—goes into this same train of thought.)
Ultimately, and unfortunately, the statement from these banker-daters instead comes out something like: "I have the right to dump and ridicule my once-rich sugar daddy for being human and therefore susceptible to stress, fear and the bizarre actions that these two states sometimes invoke. Oh, and, what is our relationship if not for the vacations, expensive dinners and lavish gifts, anyway?"
That's where the line between clever, empowered women and small-minded, powerless gold diggers is drawn.