Our countdown of the breakups we want to see in 2009.
Usually, we try to keep it positive around here, but this list must be made. Ever had that friend who is dating someone you just know is bad for them? We can’t claim to be friends with these couples but we think they should end it for good.
Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller: Between vandalism, nude pics and the obvious fact that Balthazar is still married, this couple really needs to call it quits. Sienna, please remember: if he did this to his wife, it’s highly probable he might do it to you, too. Exercise some better judgment and move on.
Madonna and A-Rod: This one might already be over by the time this hits the web since there are already reports that the megastar is tiring of her Yankee lover. When will people realize that rebound relationships rarely last? Don’t cry, A-Rod. Janet Jackson might be available soon.
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer: Yeah, yeah. She’s America’s sweetheart and you want to see her happy. Have you ever looked at a picture of the two of them together? My guess is that she is way further along in this relationship than he is. Jen, as I stated before, how about an English teacher or someone who is really, truly into you and not into the image of who you are?
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: The proof is out there, people. No one supports this relationship, from her family to her friends to her boss and coworkers. When life is this uphill, you must be doing something wrong. Heidi started out as a pretty decent, funny person. Find that girl again and get the Hell out of there.
Audrina Patridge and Justin “Bobby” Brescia: Any guy you date who calls you “dude” and makes you think that any concern you have is all your fault is emotionally stunted and not at all good for you. Audrina, it’s time for an upgrade.
Holly Madison and Criss Angel: Talk about from the frying pan and into the fire! As we’ve reported before, dating someone who is a notorious celebrity pick-up artist and then making him a paper ring after only dating him for a while to catch up to your engaged friend is a cry for help. Holly needs to realize this is a rebound relationship and they have a shelf life. It is now officially time to come home from the circus and figure some things out.