Just because you lead a busy life that doesn't mean you should put "have sex with significant other" in your PDA! If you want to keep your sex life spontaneous, you need to begin to see even the most mundane activities of your day in a more sensual context. Remember: what's really sexy is not always being available, but when two people lead independent, exciting lives. Follow these suggestions and you'll keep sparking each other for years to come.
1. Make sure to multitask.
Many women are under the misconception that sex is an activity that needs your full and undivided attention. Not true! In fact, you can have some of the best sex of your life while doing double-duty. Hop in the shower together to get clean and dirty at the same time. Get through dinner with your boss by discreetly teasing your man under the table. Multitasking of this manner is not recommended for activities that do require all your attention, like French braiding hair, making stir-fry or Sudoku.
2. Put your kiss on his list.
If the quick kiss you give each other when you leave for work has become automatic, spice things up by savoring the moment. Try going for his neck instead, or playfully bite his lip when he comes in for a smooch. Save the dry pecks on the cheek for grandma.
3. Don't reciprocate.
Sex doesn't always have to be a "you rub my genitalia/I'll rub yours" proposition. If you set up a dynamic in which every sexual action is tit for tat, you not only risk falling into a routine but you make sex into a project rather than a pleasure. Next time you're pressed for time, let him take care of you — then zip up your jeans and be on your merry way. (Just remember to let him be on the receiving end, at least some of the time!)
4. Beat the clock.
When time is short, seize the opportunity to get down. Guests arriving in ten minutes? Go for it! If you think you won't be able to get in the mood that fast, you'll be surprised how the spontaneity of the moment, combined with the pressure to finish in a hurry can make for an explosive encounter!
5. Give him your "love touch."
Even if it's just a hand on his shoulder as you take a conference call or a quick squeeze of his knee when you're driving somewhere, skin-on-skin contact makes you aware of each other's physical presence. A quick pat on the butt or a brush of your hand across his crotch in the morning will plant the seed for a sexual encounter later that night.
6. Dial "O" for orgasm.
If you travel for business, maintain your connection by having phone sex. If describing what you'd like to do to the other person feels weird or intimidating, start by simply telling each other a sexual fantasy and see where it leads.
7. Get frisky in a flash.
The next time he's wrapped up in e-mailing coworkers or his weekly call to mom, lift up your shirt and lift his spirits! Injecting a little naughtiness into the day will definitely get his attention, and it also shows that you're into keeping your relationship playful.
8. Keep your instrument in tune.
Women who touch themselves on a regular basis stay connected to their bodies. Plus, it's a great stress reliever. Staying sexual even when he's not around ensures that you'll be much quicker to get in the mood when he does put the moves on you.
9. Don't come around here no more.
Create a sexual cliff-hanger by giving each other just enough to get turned on without reaching a climax. Fooling around will leave you both wanting more and also allows you to enjoy each and every sensation since you're not focused on getting to the finish line.
10. Suck it up.
Keeping a relationship sexy and spontaneous takes work, which means that sometimes you need to make an effort, even if you think you're too exhausted. So the next time sleep sounds more enticing than sex, splash some water on your face, slip under the covers and show your love. Not only will it help keep your relationship hot, but you'll sleep better, too.
"I can do without standing up… or to be precise, standing up, facing each other. Standing up from behind is awesome, but standing up facing one another is too much work for too little payoff. Unless you are like superhumanly strong and the girl weighs 90 pounds it's not fun," says Gordon, 35.
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