Besides the lucky few who've never suffered a breakup, most of us know the anger/sadness/frustration that boils up during and after a split. Out of this emotional volcano spews a molten mess of post-breakup correspondence we'd just as soon forget.
Thanks to two former New York City roommates, our attempts to clarify, expand upon or close the book after a split can now be forever recorded on their blog, Just Been Dumped. The founders go by Jules and Mer, and ask to remain anonymous to protect the identities of the friends and strangers who have submitted the material for public consumption. Whether recently dumped or not, the e-mails (and IM conversations) on the four-month old site are a voyeuristic and potentially cathartic treat.
Take, for example, the following entry called "1 Date Blake":
After 1 date:
Hmm, well that's all well and disappointing. Oh well, nothing I can do about chemistry. Apparently I thought it was there, I should have tapped more into my enigmatic jerk side, that one usually works more in my favor. Live and learn. It was fun. And my kisses are pretty great. That one was the most basic I have. You should see the luxery set. You blew it. [:-l
A similar "you blew it" e-mail sent to Mer, a 27-year-old news producer, inspired her and Jules to launch the blog. The e-mail, now included on the site as the entry "Dually Noted," Mer says, was "dripping with condescension, and even a little religious sanctimony" besides featuring a gross misuse of language ("dually noted," for example, should be "duly noted"). To boot, the sender concluded the e-mail with Robert Frost's "A Road Not Taken."
"It was clear this guy wanted the last word, I just didn't expect him to use those words incorrectly," she says. "For example, he writes, 'There certainly are clandestine reasons why I chose to spend my ever precious free time with you over the past few weeks...You have a lot to offer an individual, but with in time.' Not so 'clandestine' why I decided to break it off, right?"
Ultimately, the founders hope the site will serve as a way for people in the throws of a breakup to laugh and commisserate. Having been the author of one of the entries on the site, Jules says, assuages any guilt about posting other people's "relationship trauma." All names are changed before posting to guarantee anonymity.
"This is a way to laugh at heartbreak, and therefore a way to get over our own relationship problems," Jules says. "I hope that reading these emails gives people a chance to laugh about the ridiculous melodrama that exists in most relationships. Or that it's just something funny to read at work."