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The Art Of The Celebrity Retraction

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Buzz, Heartbreak

Occasionally we get it wrong. Sorry Madonna, Katy Perry & Brad Pitt.

There has been a rash of wrong stories lately in the gossip game and it, frankly, sickens us. We've come to understand that the most important thing for a gossip monger is to get it right and not to entertain or titillate (heh). The blogosphere has a responsibility to take its time, gather the 411 (that's what the kids are calling information), fact-check, nail the syntax and grammar and put out Pulitzer-quality posts up to a dozen times per day.

That's why the celeb snark industry is just beside itself this week for really letting you, the reader, down this week.

First of all, we really blew it on the Madonna - Guy Ritchie settlement thing. Sorry. We, foolishly, bought into Madonna's representative, Liz Rosenberg, having the authority and facts in place to believe that Guy Ritchie was going to catch £50 – 60 million on the divorce tip. We, the bloggers, should have agreed, nay insisted, on hearing from the Guy Ritchie camp before pressing publish on such a large and impersonal number. Mea culpas, all the way around. Fool us once, Madonna's spokesperson, shame on us, fool us twice, double shame on us. Kate Perry is, self-reportedly, not engaged to marry the very cool Travis McCoy from Gym Glass Heroes. Though he's got a sweet gunfighter's name, he is not slinging diamond forever rocks at anyone yet. AceShowBiz is reporting that Katy Perry refuted these engagement reports via her blog (stars are just like us). She threw in the old, chiding chestnut, "You should fact check with the source before you spread world wide news like that." Crap, she's got us on that point, girls. Though (yeah, they have a website, it's nice) does report that Katy Perry has been rocking a diamond promise ring, so if you we beg for mercy we might get it. We should know the difference and know that even if you're not a clean-living tween, you can still wear a promise ring. Sorry.

Thank the lord, we're a little behind schedule and didn't have time to comment on Brad and Angelina's $200 million prenup. Egg would be all up on these eager grills of ours. Star reported that the 2 (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) were set to marry but needed to execute a tricky bit of paperwork detailing the outcomes of certain ugly eventualities. Also, Star speaks as if a new round of twins is fact. Dangerous ground. When in doubt the words 'alleged' and 'reportedly' covers all matter of half-truths and omissions. Yahoo OMG says horse feathers (and flapdoodle) to both the pregnancy and the massive prenup. We'd like to take this time to apologize to any and every celebrity injured by our callousness, even though we didn't mention any of this stuff yet.

Yeesh. Celeb Love wrote about Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony having some marital discord today. Let's hope we nailed this one, otherwise it's back to the groveling for your forgiveness board.

At least Tom Cruise has some sense of humor (fake or real) about these goofball rumors. He and Dave Letterman ran through a top ten list of false Tom Cruise rumors over the years. See below, we are so glad we never printed that thing about his super natural belief in the power of Vicks Vapo Rub (whew):

Do we get an apology for our apology when some of this stuff turns out to be true? What if Tom Cruise does still wear those skivvies from Risky Business? Too hilarious to even seriously consider.

Photos: Splash


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