OK. Just because this will be the last thing we ever have to write about them, we're here to let you know that Guy Ritchie and Madonna have settled on their divorce payout or so they say. And by 'they' we mean her people. And by 'her people' we don't mean Italian-Americans with English accents or ambitious pop stars looking at the second half of their lives. We mean her representatives. And by 'representatives,' we don't mean elected officials from her district that are tasked with looking out for her best interests, we mean the army of lawyers, accountants, mouthpieces and caretakers that allow her to make music and do pilates all day (or whatever it is she does with her time).
Anywhom, according to Yahoo! News, Madonna spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg has told the media that Madonna has agreed to pay Guy Ritchie between £50 and £60 million. The Pound Sterling has taken a bit of a beating in the last year and change, it used to be worth about $2 per. But then Heather Mills got hold of a bunch of them and the value must've taken a header.
Spokeswoman Rosenberg goes on to say that now that the financial portion is squared away, the couple will work on supposedly work on the custody arrangement. The custody portion of the dog and pony show could be what the family's Christmas holiday together could be about. We wouldn’t put it out of the realm of possibility that the boys (Rocco and David B) will be put on the spot and asked point blank who they want to spend their time with, "Beautiful, ripped Mummy? Or this director of violent, confusing films?"
As ambitious and hardworking as Madonna is, we'd think that she'd be an absolute terror to face in court. So, we’re guessing that she decided it wasn't worth her time to draw this sucker out. The other 2 theories are A) her daughter Lourdes (she's 12ish) forced cooler heads to prevail; and B) Guy Ritchie has some wicked dirt.
We're just a little confused by how this is shaking out. Supposedly, Guy Ritchie was cool just to walk away with his fortune. And Madonna doesn't seem like the kind to let anything that she's worked hard for go without a wicked fight. Maybe we'll never know. Maybe her attorney's just know that it’s tough for any stronger earner to get a fair shake in the divorce capital of the world. We know that the Pound (like the old gray mare) ain’t what she used to be, but can an 8-year marriage really be worth up to £60 million? Especially when she stated that the rationale for the divorce was his "unreasonable behavior." Is this settlement is the equivalent of wadding up money and throwing at someone? We believe this has become about the 5th most expensive celebrity divorce ever (behind only Neil Diamond, Steven Spielberg, Michael Jordan and Kevin Costner).
Thoughts? Ideas? Madonna jokes? Guy Ritchie anecdotes? Rock N Rolla reviews?